Boost Your Happiness When You Escape The Comparison Trap

Authentic in business…it’s a phrase that people have been over-using (and under-delivering) in the last 18 months. Which is why this post by my own coach, Gina Bell is so important. As the authentic-life coach, I make it my business to find out what it means to be authentic, how you can discover your authentic self, and live according to that authentic self In ALL Area’s.  And Gina and I are like 2 sides of the same coin, her focus on business and authenticity, mine is a focus on the authentic life in general (of which careers are a part of that). If I needed to pick one person who fully “gets me” and understands the importance of all the stuff I teach, it’s Gina.

So read her guest blog post and let us know what you think! If you like it, make sure you register for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover call, because we’ve teamed up to talk about creating total happiness in all of your life. You can register at http://kimberlyenglot.com/hhteleseminar, or on Gina’s links at the end of the post.

Enjoy!

Now, be honest… how often do you observe others? Everybody does it.

Sometimes we look on with pure fascination – absolutely amazed by the life and business someone else is experiencing. Other times though, we are left feeling frustrated, jealous and deflated like we just don’t measure up.

Comparing ourselves to others is a knee-jerk reaction that I call the comparison trap.

It’s not your fault; it’s a natural reaction and occurs at a subconscious level. The problem is that if you aren’t able to recognize it for what it is (and, when it’s happening), the impact is a domino effect, and it’s not pretty…

Here’s what to watch for…

The first red flag is your inner critic (that voice we all have inside our heads) throws a party! Woohoo! “You really suck today don’t you!” it says! Or “You’ll NEVER be as good as she is!” and so on.

Next, as the negative voice in your head gets louder and louder you start to question if there’s any truth to it. This is where doubt creeps in and self-confidence takes a nose dive!

Some people get completely stuck here.

And worse… (yes, it can get worse) we begin to make changes from this place of comparison and the moment we do, our authenticity (who we REALLY are) is often sacrificed in the process.

We start to “model success” the only way we know how which is to “emulate and copy”, to “do what they do”. The problem is that what they do, who THEY are, the life and career they are creating may not be authentic to you. Doing what they do may not be leading you to live YOUR best life.

Are you beginning to see the slippery slope?

In the short term it can appear as though things are turning round but the faux success and happiness are usually short-lived and we are not fulfilled by it. We begin to notice that something is missing. Something doesn’t feel right. And that’s because YOU, your authenticity was sacrificed in the process.

If you’re not careful the cycle can repeat.

I know because I experienced the comparison trap in a big way as an entrepreneur.

“Model success” is one of those common pieces of advice you get as an entrepreneur (aside from “you’ve got to get out there and network”)… the problem is that nobody tells you HOW to model success and, the results can be pretty ugly!

I woke up one day and realized that the companies, programs and products I had created did not reflect ME… I had checked my authenticity at the door the moment I started to compare myself to others. I second guessed. I doubted. And then I created from a place of compar ison and lack of confidence rather than my authenticity and passion.

One of my colleagues calls this a “me too” approach and she’s dead on! And, we fall into the trap the moment we look outside of ourselves to define success or for validation that our ideas are valuable.

It was like I had put on my favourite sweater but it had shrunk in the wash. It just didn’t fit or feel right anymore. Here I was, in my late 30′s (almost 40 years old) wanting and needing to basically START OVER (and to do it according to MY definition of success!)

The good news is that I was able to turn it all around – and quickly too!

Join me for the Happiness and Harmony Makeover call on March 3^rd where I’ll share how I turned it all around and “started over” in a totally new, authentic and confident direction – in just a few short months! And how you can too if you’ve found yourself in this situation (doesn’t matter if it’s life or business related – the advice is transferable).

Coming out the other side so quickly and so successfully and knowing there are other women just like me who are unknowingly sacrificing their authenticity for the sake of success is why I’m so thrilled to be co-hosting this call.

You can register now at http://snipurl.com/hh2010

See you on the call

~ Gina xo