Grass is Always Greener Syndrome

This is part of the big, bad, ugly limiting belief family.

Except that it doesn’t look like a limiting belief, which makes it hard to recognize.

I mean, you’d think that “not settling”  and being cautious was a good thing, right?

Right.

Except that sometimes your cowering ego (and by You, I really mean ME) will trick you into thinking that by proceeding you’re settling.

This makes more sense as a true life example.

January has been a tiny bit rocky for me. Nothing catastrophic, or even traumatic, but I seem to be finding excuses to Not Do what I’m “supposed” to be doing.

I listened to my Authentic Self.

She said take a Facebook Break (Oh, and ditch the format of a program that wasn’t working!). Done and done.

But there was still something bugging me, then WAM! Like running into a boulder, I felt it. You know that feeling from when you were a kid and you fell off your bike and had the wind knocked out of you (or maybe that was just me, as a clumsy kid who rode too fast).

It came on fast, but it was gripping!

I was going along, slowly and cautiously. Which is actually quite unlike me. I deal with limiting beliefs A LOT, both in myself and my clients. My process involves acknowledging them, and either letting them be or doing the exact thing I’m afraid of.

Well, then I had a mini-troll. Leaving out details, she told me that I was harming the coaching profession by not educating myself as a coach.

Excuse me?

No where have I claimed to be a “certified” coach. I don’t need to be with my background. It’s in the cards, but I have other things to do.

I don’t think I’ve harmed anyone. Not intentionally. My mission is to spread love, compassion, strength and growth. I also think (and have been told by MANY!) that having a B.A in Psychology and a background in educational psychology, that I know a thing or two about how our brains work, as well as cognitive theory, and all that other stuff.

My ego flared up, and she hurt me, but in a matter of hours I was fine again.

Or so I thought.

What happened is that she brought up my most ugliest limiting belief: You’re not good enough.

I’ve suffered from that one since grade school. (Getting a little revealing here, but that’s part of being authentic. Can’t just talk the talk…gotta walk it too!)

I recognized it, and sought the support needed to deal with it. (HELLO! Best Friend, and Biz Coach….done and dealt with. Or so I thought.)

It wasn’t quite dealt with yet. It was that exact belief that caused: Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome.

When you don’t feel like you’re enough…you’re constantly seeking outwards to find it. Programs, books, coaches…those are all good as long as you recognize the fact that YOU are perfect the way you are right now. But it’s a double edged sword, because you might be confronted with exactly what you need and be too afraid to jump on the opportunity. It happens ALL THE TIME!

Just like that! I realized that ms. mini troll was deflecting her own failure as a coach on me, and that in fact I am good enough…and I have loads of clients and testimonials to prove it.

I’ll finally get to the point. This insignificant person in my life (I have never heard of her before, and I will never again), had the ability to flare up that limiting belief and then turn it into something that nearly caused me to make a huge mistake: Doubt myself.

I began to doubt the decision I made to enter a high end mastermind group (we’re talkin’ 5 figure quality).

To the normal person, this does sound crazy (who pays that much to get coached? The answer: successful people who want action and results FAST!).

BUT because I had this limiting belief, I had a fear that by entering into this one program (and taking on the monthly payments of it) I was cutting off my ability to do other programs. See…grass is always greener.

When talking to the coach about it, I even used the term “Afraid to put all of my financial eggs in one basket.”

Image courtesy of Owais Khan http://www.itvlive.blogspot.com

Did you notice the limited (and lack) language I used. And I was aware of it! (but so confused I could think straight any more)

So I set the intention last night to ask my authentic self to give me the answer, in a clear, loving way so that there was no doubt in my mind around what I should do (enter the mastermind or not).

I got my answer loud and clear this morning, and put the down payment through.

And the truth is, besides clearing out another layer of that nasty limiting belief and exposing more light on it, I’ve also showed the Universe how much faith I have in myself, and the fact that Yes, I do practice what I preach, thank you very much!

1. The Universe is abundant. There is no such think as lack.
2. I am an awesome human being who deserves to be happy, just because. (Same goes for YOU!)
3. Money is just energy.
4. Energy is always flowing
5. Therefore, money is always flowing (assuming I don’t cut it off with fear and lack mentality).

Another truth…I went through a similar fear when hiring my business coach for the first time (as well as buying my house, paying down my student loan and buying my car). And yet, I have never ever lacked money. Not since I started working. Everything has always been paid for.  Just goes to show you that when you stretch…the Universe fills in the gaps.

So there you go. My version of the Grass is Always Greener Syndrome, how the fear of settling nearly cost me a year in business growth, and how I over came it. I have no idea what the point of this post is supposed to be, other than to share with you my authentic self.

Maybe it’s supposed to help you grow, maybe you’ll start to feel that you’re not alone! I hope it does at least one of those.