I realized that due to technology issues, not everyone received the last lesson in my Dump The Junk eCourse! The best way to fix it is to offer it up to all (although it won’t make as much sense if you haven’t completed lessons 1-9).

Here is what you should have received:

Hi again!

This is the last *official* lesson in the Dump The Junk eCourse. (I will
be offering you the chance to sign up for a Live Bonus call on the topic
of living in the moment and all the myths that go along with that).

When it comes to cleansing your life of things that don’t work,
the first step is to realize that IT ISN’T WORKING IN THE FIRST PLACE!

You can’t change a darn thing if you’re in denial. And pretending
everything is fine only makes it harder in the long run.

My favorite indicator that I need a Life Cleanse? Things feel hard.

• Nothing is flowing properly.
• My friends annoy me.
• I feel cr@ppy about my weight/body.
• I dread work (and I’m self employed, so that’s bad!).
• I can’t seem to get anything right, no one seems to respond the
• way I want them to and I feel totally frustrated and ready to throw in the towel.

Usually about the 5th day of this, the light clicks on and I go
back, reassess and purge all of the things (usually just a bunch
of stale thoughts) holding me back.

With a good Life Cleanse under my belt (I’ve done the process so
often, my usually takes less than a day, but the first time it
took months!) I feel better and things start to get easy again.

So, for the final lesson, we actually go back to the beginning.
Recognizing it’s times to dump the junk and bounce back!

————————————————————–
Resilience can be taught!
————————————————————–
Being aware enough to realize that when things get hard, it’s
THE #1 SIGN THAT YOU NEED TO ADJUST!

This lesson (in the form of a radio show I did last spring) will
help you to get over any fear holding you from really cleansing
your life by sharing
–how to make No Fail Decisions
–How to manage fear
–How to bounce back when life gets frustrating!

========================================
Here is the lesson:
If life is hard, you’re doing it wrong!
========================================

Enjoy!
I’ll be letting you know about the Bonus coaching call as soon
as I have all the details finalized.

xoxo
Kim

PS: Had to share this quote:

  Happy people know that regardless of what happened yesterday, last
month, years ago –or what might happen later today, tomorrow or next
year –now is the only place where happiness can actually be found
and experienced.

~ Richard Carlson, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”

Be Happy Now.

I had eye surgery last Friday. Besides minor discomfort, and the inability to read or spend much time on my computer for 3 days, it was not a big deal.

Something strange happened, though. After wearing glasses for 20 years, I found myself feeling like a part of my identity was gone. Strange? Yes. Silly? Probably…but it’s given me the opportunity to, literally, have a new pair of eyes and a fresh perspective.

So, as I was lying on my couch last Friday afternoon, I was thinking about the other things in my life that don’t belong any more (besides glasses) that I’d been tolerating for too long. Luckily, there weren’t many things, and nothing major. My list contained:

• The 3 boxes of clothing and housewares that need to be donated to charity (sitting in the garage for 4 months)
• The silly idea that I have to do it all, and be perfect at it
• Not running, even though it bugs me when I don’t, and even though I get positive vibes after
• Thinking I ‘have to’ run in the 10k every year, just because I have in the past

That’s it. So the next day we got those boxes out of the garage and donated, I’m actively working on NOT being perfect (why even try, it’s so obvious I’m not), and the running thing…well, I know it’s there so I’m going to be working on releasing that to (or just doing it!)

Are you letting Junk pile up?

Is it time to look at life again, with a fresh new perspective and clarity around what you want?

Life is busy. Careers, spouses, kids, parents, obligations…that doesn’t leave a lot for the average woman to take time for herself. This leads to resentment, frustrations, even rage (or worse) numbness.

If you’re feeling that way, it’s time to do a clean sweep on the Junk in your life.

Being so busy, it’s easy to let the Junk pile up…after all you’ll get to it later. Except that you don’t, and so the pile continues to grow little by little until you wake up one morning unable to bear it and then completely freak out.

This moment is completely avoidable, if you make the time to periodically cleanse the Junk in the first place.

Think of life like a pristine vase. It’s beautiful, clean, and only contains things you LOVE. Over time someone will tell you that you must have ‘ABC’ in your container, and even though you don’t want it there, you let it in. Someone else tells you to add ‘DEF’, and again, you don’t really think it fits but because they said so, you add it. It feels wrong, but the more things that other people TELL you to add, the less ‘wrong’ it feels and your ability to tolerate it goes up. Until one day you find your beautiful, pristine vase dirty, scummy, and overflowing with garbage!

YUCK! No wonder you feel so bad.

If you take the time go clear out the vase every once in a while, the Junk stays out, and you don’t get used to tolerating things that aren’t good for you.

Take 15 minutes today, do it right now if you have time, to look into your Vase and find the things that don’t belong in there. Make a list, set the intention to do a cleanse, and then get to work!

The following items are ‘Junk’:

1. People who constantly belittle you, make you feel stupid, or tell you that you can’t do something.
2. The thoughts/beliefs that tell you those meanies are right.
3. The activities that you don’t enjoy any more, even if you once loved them.
4. The fear that you’re not good enough or that you’re a burden
5. The Oprah magazines from 2003 that you’re going to get to ‘later’
6. The books on your shelf that you haven’t read, and you feel guilty about that every time you look at them (read them, or donate them.)
7. The j.o.b that barely pays your bills, doesn’t fulfill you, and makes you cry.
8. The ‘Friend’ who only calls you when she wants something.
9. Worrying about things that don’t really matter (or thinking that by worrying, you’re some how preventing it).
10. Anything in your house that you a) don’t use b) don’t love c) don’t want.

It’s easy to get too busy to notice the Junk, but you really don’t want to wake up in 40 years drained and feeling abused. This is in your control. Do something about it!

If you KNOW you need to do something about it, but need some guidance or support, contact me (kimberly@kimberlyenglot.com) for a complimentary Discovery Session. We’ll figure out what doesn’t belong, what you need to add back in, and how to do it in a way that makes you happy! This is your life, your happiness is up to YOU. Fight for it!

Loved this thought and had to share it with you guys:

Decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage to pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically say ‘NO’ to all other things.

No idea where I got that quote. Maybe it’s someone famous. Maybe I got it from a movie or maybe I ‘divinely downloaded’ it from the Universe.

I do know that I had to share it and I definitely want to know what you think! Comment below with thoughts. Is this hard for you? Do you even know what your focus is on? Is this a selfish mindset? Don’t be afraid, share!

Perhaps this topic is at the forefront of my mind because of the recent (and very unexpected) death of one of my closest friends in high school, or perhaps it’s due to watching “Life or Something Like It.” Regardless of the reason (I suspect a combination of both) it is something I am thinking about.

It is my experience that NOTHING makes you think about your own mortality like the death of someone you know. It’s especially scary when the person is your age.

If I had one week to live, here is what I would do:

1. Call each of my loved ones to tell them how much they mean to me.
   
2. Visit my family.
3. I’d then grab my husband and we’d go on the adventure of a life time. This would include a hot air balloon ride, staying in the most expensive hotel I could find (and jumping on the bed), visiting Niagara Falls, the Rocky Mountains and swimming in the ocean again.
   

Now that I’ve created my 1-Week-to-Live Bucket List, I’m wondering why I don’t do those things now.

Hmmmm, why DON’T I do those things now? Because I am human, and I take things for granted. And because of THAT, I have plenty of excuses. All of which come down to time and money.

And I’m a bit ashamed about the simplicity of my list, and the excuses I have for NOT doing #1 and #2. In fact, I think I will completely #1 with some of my loved ones tonight. It just seems like the least I could do, to not take life (and loved ones) for granted.

And so I pose this question to you…what would you do if you found out that you had 1 week left on earth? Would this put things into perspective for you? Would you immediately recognize what is important to you?

I’d love for you to comment below and tell me what you think. What would you do and what are you waiting for?

PS–Just talked to husband about hot air balloon ride. It’s in the works . I will provide pictures.

I originally wrote this for a guest blog post 2 years ago. I felt the need to re-share it this week.

In these current economic times, I feel that it is particularly important for people to remember that their possessions do not reflect who they are as human beings. This is a story to help us all remember who we really are inside.

About a year ago, my husband and I were grocery shopping. We pulled into the lot, and parked near a very interesting vehicle.

It was a beat-up, black, sub-compact car (similar to an old VW Rabbit, but I don’t know what the make actually was) that had writing all over it! In white (paint or marker, I’m not sure) it had things like, “I am not my car,” “Over 300,000 km and still going strong,” and “My possessions do not define me!” I looked at the rusty, dented car as I walked by and laughed thinking, “They must have a lot of courage to drive that thing around town,” and completely missing the point.

This beat-up little car started to really get to me; I started to think about my own car. It was getting old, a little rusty and I was often embarrassed to drive it – especially when I knew I’d be parking it beside some of my friends’ shiny brand new cars.

I had a good job, it’s not like I couldn’t afford a better car, but my husband and I thought that we’d pay down some other debt and built up our savings before we would get something newer. Telling myself that I was “responsible and pragmatic” about my car-situation didn’t always make me feel better parking beside a brand-new SUV but I pretended that I was okay with it.

After seeing this car everything hit home! “That’s right! I am NOT my car,” I said firmly to myself a couple days later when I was feeling embarrassed about the state of my car. I began to ponder this further in my mind and apply it to other area’s of my life.

I am not my car, my job, my spouse, my family, my house, my neighborhood, my level of education, the clothes I wear, the friends I keep, the food I eat. So if those things are not me, then who am I?

Who I am can be defined more by what I am not, than by what I am. My identity lies in my authentic self; the self that is there even after I sell my car, or move to another country.

The point I am trying to make is: if I were to lose my possessions, or change them, would I still exist? And my answer to this is, yes. That is why I don’t entangle my identity with my physical environment. I drive a nicer car now, yes, but I’m still the same woman who drove the old car. I own a wonderful home in the suburbs, but this hasn’t changed me from who I was when I lived in an apartment in the city. And if I had to sell my home, or downgrade my car, I would still be the same person.

Not to say that people don’t change throughout their lives, but I am saying that people should not think they will change because of their things.

Possessions don’t make people. Life makes people. So let go of the idea that your designer handbag makes you a better you than if you had a cheap one. Do not fool yourself that driving a BMW means you’re happier than if you were driving a Chevy. Do not let these things define you because in the scary case where they leave and you have nothing left…you still exist, and everything important remains.

Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:

Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of  The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.

I’m so excited to share this with you! As you know, I LOVE Gina Bell! She has helped me through some major mindset issues with my own business, and is my fab co-pilot for my Master LIFE Cleanse program!

And now she’s gone and done something insane…so insane, I really had to be a part of it!

You’ve got to see the Virtual Birthday Gift Bag that is available through the International Association of Women in Business Online (IAWBO)

More than 30 successful women (including me) have contributed their wisdom to this complimentary gift bag devoted to supporting – and accelerating – the success of women in business online like you.

And it’s SO much more than your average “give-away”…

Each item in the gift bag is an EXCLUSIVE resource not available for-free anywhere else and also includes access to a special interview series that will unfold on IAWBO’s blog… the How Does She Do It? 2.0 series. You’ve watched and you’ve wondered. Now you can KNOW what these women do to achieve MEGA success.

And, you’ll really appreciate this too…

You’ll get immediate access to all 30 gifts with just ONE opt-in! (You do not have to subscribe to any other list – unless you want to). No more having to sign up for 100 people’s ezines to get a crappy (pardon my French) freebie you can get anywhere. This is HIGH quality stuff!

Hurry — the virtual gift bag is valued over $1000 and is only available for a short time. You can see ALL the fantastic gifts included inside at IAWBO How 2010!

Kim

P.S. Once you register for your gift bag PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION to the thank you page where you’ll discover the MEGA secret we’ve been keeping. You’ve really got to see it to believe it!

It sounds really harsh and shocking, and I want it to be that way. You are the person who is holding you back. There might be others contributing to the problem, but when it comes right down to it, you’re the one who lets them.

1. You replace your instincts with someone else’s advice, and/or worry about what other people think. Bad, Bad, Bad idea! This is a case where fear is good…in the form of your intuition telling you not to listen. If you are constantly looking for outward advice/approval then you have lost your authentic voice! You are holding yourself back by not having confidence in yourself. This is simple enough to remedy. Start with baby steps. Say no (when you really want to). Listen to your body (it reacts physically when something feels off) and get back to the basics (look back at your life and count your blessing and all the things you have already accomplished!)
   This is your life, you know how to run it! You don’t need someone else’s permission.

   
   

2. You are too attached to your “but” and have too many excuses.
   One of my favorite saying is, “Get off your but!” That is, look at the excuses you’re using to hold yourself back. Easy to identify by the standard…”I’d love to do __________, BUT___________.” There is a well known theory out there: if you are hungry enough for something you’ll do what it takes to get it (no matter what the cost). I’m not saying that you should go about things in an unethical, illegal or immoral way, but check your “but” next time. Then ask yourself, is this but a true CAN’T or a WON’T. There is a huge difference. Won’t is very empowering. I means that this is something that you won’t do for whatever reason, and stating it makes you realize how often the can’t is actually a won’t. Give yourself permission to say, “I WON’T exercise tonight because CSI is on,” and you’ll be so much closer to living your truth!

   
   

   
   

3. You are focusing on the wrong things. Have you taken time to figure your goals “from the inside out?”
   That is where true happiness lies! I wrote a blog on it recently. Think about this scenario (it makes your priorities very clear): if there were a fire or flood and I had 5 minutes to get out (or die) what would I make sure went with me? Most people say they’d grab their kids, pets, photo’s, maybe the odd heirloom. You aren’t going to be worrying about the Volvo or your designer purse. Looking at the inside-out perspective you can see that your family takes precedence over “things”…but are you living that way? You can say, “But I want money FOR my family. So they can have everything they want: nice clothes, iPods, travel.” But I bet, they’d rather see more of YOU then any of those things! Are you holding yourself back from happiness and wealth because your definition of happiness and wealth doesn’t actually ring true to you?

Think about those 3 ways. What is your true definition of success? What kind of excuses are you using, and how are they preventing you from living your authentic life? How are you letting someone else run the show called Your Life? Answer those questions and you will be light years ahead of the average person, who is content complaining about how things are, without actually doing anything to change them! You can also learn more way you are holding yourself back, and how to stop NOW, by becoming a Premium Member and joining us for the live call on Monday!

Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:

Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of  The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.

I had an outstanding day yesterday. One of the many things that made me so happy:
I bought a new printer a few days ago, and had to take it back. When I took it back to exchange it for one that didn’t jam up every time I tried to print, I actually was given money back. Yep, the printer had since gone on sale and I exchanged it for a new one, plus they gave me money in return! I felt so much better after 2 days of a stupid printer that didn’t work. NOTICE, that is all about my perspective on that outcome? (I could have been angry, yelled at the customer service agent, demanded my money back, went to another store and purchased a similar printer for more money. That is probably how I would have acted a few years ago.) 

So, I had a good day. This morning I woke up to find someone had commented on one of my blog posts…YAY! I thought, I am uplifted whenever anyone takes the time to comment. But this was a TROLL. Yikes. Yuck. Ick.

I sent the comment to the trash because I don’t need anyone smearing ME with THEIR “junk” but basically I was told that I was naive and “to grow up.” (The issue was a post I wrote about the power of positive, group thinking, comparing it to a Criss Angel episode I watched 6 months ago).

In the last 2 or 3 years I have discovered that (GASP) I feel better, happier, safer, freer when I believe that positive forces rule/fuel the world. I am happier when I CHOOSE to see the positive aspects of my life, and the examples in it. Do I believe everything anyone tells me? No. I am the first to check out www.Snopes.comwhenever I’m sent a crazy email. Do I believe everything that Criss Angel (a paid illusionist) does is pure and real? No, but at that point in my life I was searching for a sign, and I think I got one. Does that make me naive? Maybe in some people’s eyes.

I the end I am happy and my family is happy. What else matters? I am going to continue choosing to absorb the positive vibes of those around me, and deflect the negative ones. There is enough “junk” in this world, and I have my own to deal with, I don’t need yours! (And you don’t need mine).

Byron Katie is a very loving soul, can’t you just feel it?

In this video, she helps a man through some self-sabotaging beliefs and I have a feeling that he’s not the only one who’s ever worried about this!

A friend of mine shared these videos a couple of months ago and I resonated so strongly with them that I knew I had to share with you. Of course I forgot about them until recently when I realized that they were a perfect fit for my upcoming Happiness & Self  Premium Membership call (these videos also go very nicely with several topics in my “Letting Go” Premium Series, starting in August.) I invite you to join us as we discuss self esteem, self love and self discovery on July 19! Learn more at http://kimberlyenglot.com/being-the-perfect-sized-you/

Talk about getting it…You are the perfect sized YOU!!!

If you are unhappy regarding your own physical appearance, take the time to watch these videos! Take to heart what Katie has to say. (Part 2 is my favorite–“You’re not too fat to be you…and in a perfect Universe, someone has to be you!” Love it!!!– but make sure you watch Part 1 first or it won’t make as much sense)

Byron Katie: I’m too fat. Parts 1 & 2