It’s 2013 and the time of year where everyone is reassessing life and making New Years Resolutions.
Did you make some?
Finally going to start eating better? Did you join a gym? Going to spend more time with your kids? Watching less tv?
I never bother with New Years Resolutions because I find the pressure ridiculous and I prefer to start something new whenever I feel the urge, whether January or June, so I can ride the wave of enthusiasm.
January is a bad month for depression. When the credit card bills start coming in, the bill start stacking up and you start to see that you haven’t been successful at your resolutions, it’s easy to fall into a deep state of hopelessness, overwhelm or sadness.
If that is a pattern for you, try this exercise now. Get in the habit so that you don’t fall into those January blues.
Every night write down ONE thing you’re thankful for or happy about from the day and WHY it made you happy.
Every Sunday night read the list. You’ll have several things (depending on when you started) to remind yourself on why life is pretty good.
Continue this beyond January and I promise you’ll be feeling better and better as the year goes on.
So if you make any resolutions, make that exercise one of them too. Make the time to remember the good things in life and take the time to cherish them!
I know what I have to do, but I have trouble actually following through.
I have good intentions, but never get around to acting on them.
I’m a social worker. I *know* all of the techniques and teach them to others, yet when it comes to my own life I can’t seem to get it together.
Those are some of the reasons that clients approach me.
You want to change, but you never make the time to take the steps to make it happen. Read more
You waste time chasing what someone else wants.
You waste money on programs you don’t need.
You waste energy worrying and procrastinating (and then feeling guilty afterward).
It all comes down to a form of self doubt that is completely manageable: Clarity.
I’m a guest expert in a telesummit in a few weeks and I was going over some prep notes for my talk on finding clarity in a frustrating world. I realized how common (and manageable) this challenge is for women and I want this post to help you diagnose and move forward.
First you have to identify that your lack of progress in getting what you want IS lack of clarity. I have 3 signs that immediately remind me it’s time to get back to the basics:
- I procrastinate. When I’m feeling foggy, I’ll decide I need to repaint the bathroom and then spend 2 days thinking about paint, colour schemes and bathroom decor. Sometimes a break is warranted and a break-through soon follows but if you find yourself focusing on non-goal oriented tasks more than once every few months, you’re procrastinating.
- I give up. I get so overwhelmed at choices that I think why bother and spend a few hours in a complete, whiny funk. Luckily, I’ve gotten really good a noticing when I slip into overwhelm mode and I reach out for support from my best friend in business! If you get the urge to throw in the towel more than once a week, you’re overwhelmed.
- I chase every new program, sign up for every single teleseminar and decide that what I REALLY need is to learn more about (fill in the blank with latest lifestyle/biz fad). This is really common (it’s called Bright Shiny Object Syndrome) if you’re new to business, or making a niche/brand switch. The internet is a blessing and a curse because SO much information is readily available. If you see your calendar filled with more than 1 teleseminar a week OR if you are on more than 10 eZine lists, Bright Shiny Object syndrome could be your clarity challenge.
Obviously these are fairly subjective signs that you lack clarity, but the underlying theme is serious: without clarity you are wandering aimlessly, unhappily, unsuccessfully through life and then beating yourself up at the end of the day when you’re no closer to your goal.
Once you’ve dumped the Junk not working, you can easily identify what you want and move forward. It’s pretty easy to just do it, when you know what to do AND why you’re doing it.
If you think you need help dumping the Junk, let me know! I’m here to help (and it’s a painless process, honest). Grab your Dump The Junk & Be Happy ebook to get started.
People seem to think it’s really hard.
Or that it requires practice, or time, or some kind of spiritual awakening.
And that irritates me a little…just enough to write this post to let you know that you can be happy RIGHT NOW–that you can start living an extraordinary, authentic, purpose-filled life RIGHT NOW!
It only requires a few simple things:
- Keep your promises: Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t sign contracts you don’t intend to fulfill. Don’t take appointments that you will cancel and don’t waste other people’s time on a whim, it demonstrates lack of respect for yourself AND the other party. If you say you are going to be available to help your best friend with her wedding invites, be there (and show up on time.) If you say you are ready to work with a coach and you make the commitment, show up fully. Just do it. You’ll feel better and you will strengthen your authentic self…the one who walks her talk!
- Pay your bills on time. Like I said, simple. You’d be surprised how many people don’t do this. Stop spending your money on stuff to fill the void in your life while letting the bills pile up and causing Life Clutter (JUNK!) to make you feel bad. Just stop. (Also see Tip #1 for Why This Works!)
- Listen to your heart, not the Inner Critic. I know this one isn’t a concrete as the first 2, but it’s equally important. You don’t have to believe every thought you think. Just because you’ve always believed you suck at math doesn’t mean you do…it’s quite possible that you’re great at it, but one bad quiz (and a mean first grade teacher) has labelled you a failure. Think you are too old to start a business or go back to school? Think that things will never get better? That’s your Inner Critic and if you learn to tune out those mean stories and concentrate on what your heart says, I guarantee you’ll feel better. Start now.
If you need a bit of proof or inspiration that you can dust off your authentic self and live a happier life make sure you grab your free copy of my Dump The Junk & Be Happy eBook. It’s just in the right hand column, next to this post and it has real life stories of how 10 successful women did just that. Grab a copy now. Just do it!
After a bumpy January and some business-direction Soul Searching, The Center for Authentic Self Development is ready to rock 2012
And I’m kicking off the premier episode for the season with a topic that is full of paradoxes (paradoxi??) and can drive people crazy…but it doesn’t have to!
I have some very easy tricks to get you into the habit of being more conscious, thoughtful and aware in your own life.
Join me this afternoon (and every Thursday) at 4pm EST / 1pm PST to learn:
- What your feet have to do with being more present.
- The single, easiest tip I can think of. (It takes less than 5 seconds to do!)
- Why pain is good (but also how to eliminate it from your daily life)
- and more ways to Live In the Moment.