Dump The Junk
I am on a personal mission, to dump my own junk and help others dump their’s. So far, so good 
So…Dump The Junk. It’s a really catchy phrase and very accurate for what I do. So accurate in fact, that I’ve decided to do a free ebook with that very title. It’s still in the works, but I’m inviting some pretty fabulous experts to share how they dumped their junk and got to the place they are in life. Look for it in the next couple of months, published by the Center for Authentic Self Development.
I originally go this idea about a month ago, while brainstorming with my business coach. We were talking about my business, my services, my products — essentiall, what I “do” for people. I believe Gina said something like, “Kim, you help your clients dump the junk.”
We laughed and I knew immediately that that phrase sums up exactly what I do, perfectly!
It’s so important to clear out all the “stuff” or “junk” holding you back FIRST! If you don’t make room for what you want (more clothes, new job, new car, more money) it won’t come to you. Sometimes dumping the junk involves just being aware you have junk, and it goes away on it’s own. Sometimes you have to act to dump the junk.
Regardless of what you have to dump, you have to dump it and throw it out first or the new good “happy stuff” will just pass you by!
I’ll make sure that I let everyone know when Dump the Junk: The official guide to discovering your authentic life is finished. Can’t wait…it’s going to be good!
Kim
The Only Thing Worse than Failure is Regret!
With the busy-ness of last week, I completely forgot to let you guys know about a few things. So this is a multi-purpose email.
#1) Home-Based Business Owners! If you are looking to grow your “list” of ideal, wonderful clients and customers make sure you check out Gina Bell’s “List Attraction Week” tele-series. It doesn’t cost a thing to sign up and will have a boat-load of great information to help you attract the clients you’re looking for to help you grow your business.
It’s FREE!!!
http://bit.ly/bHyAaE It starts tomorrow, Monday March 8th and runs all week!!
So if any of these sound like you, you’re going to love it!
- Frustrated because your list is “growing” (if you can call it that) about as fast as a turtle can crawl?.
- Generating traffic to your site from your social media efforts (i.e. Twitter and Facebook), but very few of them sign up for your free offer?.
- Are you intimidated by joint ventures because you’re not sure what you have to offer and worry about rejection?.
- Spending hours upon hours on social media sites and it’s not translating into money?.
- Confused by list building lingo such as “opt-ins”, “autoresponders”, “squeeze pages”, “ethical bribes”, etc….
- Unsure of how to create an irresistible “freebie” offer that converts visitors to subscribers?.
- Unsure of how to build a relationship and foster rapport, responsiveness and loyalty with the list you do have?
Gina (yes, the same Gina that helped me host the Happiness & Harmony Makeover) has created a great fre.e event with some really awesome speakers (like MaryKay Morgan, Leesa Barnes and Katrina Sawa among other fab mentors!) It won’t cost you a thing. Check it out if you’re interested!
2) Today (March 7th) is the deadline for receiving Gina’s Believability Makeover Kit 2.0 as a bonus if you sign up for the master Life Cleanse. If you 
have been thinking about joining us, but not quite sure, AND you KNOW that your limiting beliefs are holding you back…here is your chance to break free of them forever.
I saw a quote of a friend’s Facebook page yesterday, it said
“The only thing worse than failure, is regret!”
So true.
So if you want to join us, do it now and get the Believability Makeover Kit.
Go to http://www.themasterlifecleanse.com for all the details and to sign up.
Love and Light,
Kim
PS: List Attraction week sign up: http://bit.ly/bHyAaE
Master Life Cleanse sign-up: http://www.themasterlifecleanse.com
Happiness: It’s all about perspective
This ancient Chinese story speaks very loudly to the fact that the Law of Attraction works in ways we cannot possibly understand. Which is exactly why when you ask for something…you cannot get fixed on “the how,” or try to make it happen.
And old farmer used a horse to till his fields. One day, the horse ran away, and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”
A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild mares, and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”
Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell and broke his leg. Everyone agreed this was very bad luck. But the farmer’s only reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”
A week later, the army marched into the village and drafted all the young men they could find. When they saw the farmers’ son with his broken leg, they let him stay behind. Good luck? Bad luck?
We can never know how a situation will turn out. When things don’t work out exactly as planned, happy people believe that what IS happening, is happening for the best. The Universe is out to support them. In hindsight, I have seen this happen in my life over and over again. I’m sure if you looked back, you would find the same is true for you.
Happiness is a choice, so you can either fight the “negative” circumstances, seeing them as bad luck, or you can relax and trust that what is coming will be in your favor.
If you need a little help doing this, join us for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover, on March 3rd where we explore this concept even further and guide you to the point where you can feel good when things don’t work out as planned.
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
Frienemies, do you have one?
According to the first definition on http://urbandictionary.com: A “toxic” person who poses as a friend but subconsciously or consciously wishes you harm.
Couldn’t have written it better myself.
A “frienemy” (friend- enemy) is a type of toxic person. And you have no room for these people in your authentic life. So this post will reveal all of the classic signs of a frienemy, so that you’re aware if you have one! I’ll cover the basics of what to do if you have a Frienemy on this weeks radio show, and I’m going into details in the Master LIFE CLEANSE starting in March.
Sign #1: You dread calling her if you have good news!
Congratulations are in order! You have a new job, just got engaged or are expecting a baby. You can’t wait to tell everyone…except one person. You dread calling her because she will find a way to “rain on your parade” (pardon the cliche) and make the happy occasion not so happy. Whether she starts in on why the timing isn’t great, or about how your life is always so great and the fact that you’re lucky while her life sucks, she leaves you feeling sorry for her. You also end up resenting her for not being happy for you.
Sign #2: After spending time with her you feel worse.
It’s time for the monthly get together with your best frienemy. You’re feeling optimistic, good things are happening for you and you can’t wait to hear all about her new boyfriend! It’s been a month and lots can happen! You’re really excited to see her. Nothing like a wonderful afternoon spent talking with a good friend! You meet her at the coffee shop, order a latte and sit in the comfy chairs to start catching up. After an hour your smile is gone, along with your energy and your bouncy outlook on life. It’s one thing to support someone in a time of need, another thing to always be supporting one person because she’s ALWAYS in need. Her boyfriend broke up with her, she hates her job and she got a parking ticket. When you finally get around to talking about you, you don’t even feel like sharing anything with her. By the end of the visit you slink back to your car feeling like you need to take a long nap…so much for good vibes today.
Sign #3: You’ve been friends for a really long time and now you can’t remember why.
I had a client send me an email. She was desperate because she had a big event coming up and one person was ruining it for her. This was a momentous occasion! An engagement only happens once (hopefully). The frienemy was so excited that she didn’t even mind that she wasn’t going to be the maid-of-honor! Except that she decided to take over the planning of the bridal shower and the girls-night-out party. The resentment and jealousy became obvious when my client learned that the “friend” had been spinning tales, getting in between people, and bad mouthing almost everyone. WOW! What to do?
“We’ve been friends forever! I can’t imagine my bridal shower without her.”
“How fun is it going to be with everyone fighting, or no one speaking?” I asked her. “Sounds like you have a frienemy…”
My client decided that this time of her life, the engagement and everything leading up to the honeymoon, was precious and that this friend needed to be dealt with. Looking back she said that things have felt off for a long time, she just didn’t want to admit it.
If you have a friend whose been in your life for a long time but you just don’t have a connection anymore, don’t feel bad. People grow and change, relationships should too.
Sign #4: You become someone you don’t like when you’re with her (complaining, whining, being negative or judgmental).
You’re in a great mood. Can’t wait to talk to your office friend Jenny about the latest gossip going around the office. You’re feeling really good, it’s been a good day. You got everything you wanted accomplished and you deserve a good 15 minute coffee break. Sitting down with her, it turns into a 20 minute complain-fest. By the end of it, you hate your job, the company and anyone that dares to look at you. What’s changed? Your energy patterns have, and you became the negative person that you usually try to avoid!
Those are just a few of the signs that you have a potential Frienemy. It’s not necessarily her fault, she might not be aware of it. And some environments bring out the worst in otherwise great people. Once you’re aware of the effect of these friends, it’s important to guard yourself.
I go into more detail on the types of toxic people and give you some tips for how to deal with them on Authentic Self Expressions this week (4:30 pm CST on Wednesday, February 10, 2010). If you need more help for the toxic relationships in your life, join us for the Master LIFE CLEANSE where we talk in great detail about Toxic People and how to protect yourself from them (and what to do if YOU ARE the toxic person in the relationship!). Learn more about that at http://themasterlifecleanse.com
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
The Most Important Advice You’ll Ever Receive:
Never, ever give up your power because someone says you should listen to them.” Guru” or not, you always know what is best for you.
James Arthur Ray was arrested a couple of days ago for the deaths of 3 people in one of his event in October. I’m not going to go into the details, but it was a spiritual quest where people experienced a sweat lodge. It involved a lot of high heat and humidity and some pretty bizarre, out-there stuff.
I like James Ray’s theory. I have no judgment on him as a human or a teacher. This is not an article of judgment, nor am I going to cover any kind of detail on the case. Just Google it if you want more info. I have sympathy for the families of those who died, I truly do. It was tragic. But this is not a post about his guilt or innocence.
Instead I want to use this example to underline the importance of Never EVER giving away your own power.
Know your authentic self. Listen to your gut and your intuition. When you do that it will never lead you astray.
There have been times in my life where I have not listened to my gut and regretted it. Nothing as extreme as the above example, but things that harmed me. There have also been times when I’ve refused to listen to an “authority” because my intuition said not to. And I’ve never regretted that.
Listen to your instincts. I have a favorite quote that seems especially powerful here:
“Do not believe anything because it is said by an authority, or if it is said to come from angels, or from Gods, or from an inspired source. Believe it only if you have explored it in your own heart and mind and body and found it to be true. Work out your own path, through diligence.” – Gautama Buddha
Please don’t ever replace something I say, or anything you hear, read or are taught with your own inner knowing.
Sometimes you need to grow and stretch that comfort zone. That is important, BUT there is a difference between growth and disregard for your intuition.
I don’t have it down to a complete science (and don’t take this blog to be the “be all end all” of self help!) but these are some tips I use to help me decide if I should leap, do it and push myself and if I should turn around and run in the other direction.
There are two kinds of fear. Irrational and Rational and the key is to know which fear is affecting you.
Irrational Fear (usually over something that is really unlikely to ever happen) feel like excitement and fear rolled into one. It usually makes me jittery as the adrenaline flows. I envision pure and wonderful potential.
You want to do it (whatever is making you afraid) but something is holding you back. You want the “consequences,” if you can call them that. You want the good results from it!
Example, You want to go back to school but what if you just end up more in debt? You want to go to Europe but you’re afraid the plane will crash. You want to go talk to that person but you’re afraid they’ll laugh at you.
Those types of things hold you back. How likely is it that you’ll end up worse after education? Assuming you did your research and have taken several potential scenarios into consideration, you can follow your gut on this and do it. It’s likely you’ll end up better off than if you didn’t go back.
Flying? Yes there is a small risk, but statistics show it’s less dangerous than driving and most of us do that every day. Does your fear out-weigh your excitement for Europe? Would you regret not going to Europe?
Talking to someone can be scary. But I always look at it this way,
A—people really don’t pay that much attention to me. They’re too busy worrying about themselves to worry about me.
B—If I do make a mistake and look like an idiot I’m no worse off (I’m in the same place, as if I hadn’t tried, still alone with no date). In fact, I’m better off because now I know and can move on.
See what I mean? Irrational fears are the kind that are holding you back, but you don’t want them to! When I come across some of them, I will normally head right towards the fear.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Susan Jeffers
Then there is Rational Fear. This is when your intuition is speaking up (and loudly!). The chances of something going wrong are high, and you’re possibly in a dangerous predicament (physically, spiritually or emotionally), and the consequences of this decision could be ugly.
Examples include walking along down a dark street in a dangerous part of down, getting in a car with a drunk driver, spending all of your savings on someone who is going to make you rich, or quitting your job to pursue your career as a trapeze artist! All joking aside, there is a difference between having faith in yourself and making bad decisions.
There’s a good chance that you will get hurt walking down a dark street in a scary part of town or driving drunk. Eventually it’s going to catch up with you.
Putting all of your faith in another person saving you is also a huge red flag. It’s setting you up for failure because you cannot depend on someone else making you happy.
And quitting your job is a good idea if you have something to fall back on. Don’t put yourself in jeopardy to prove anything. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, ever. As long as you’re okay with you, nothing else matters.
So when confronted with a situation that makes you stop and feel fear, ask yourself
“What am I feeling? DO I want to run towards this opportunity and the potential results will all my heart? Or do I want leave and get as far away as possible right now?”
I am famous for asking my friends and family for their opinions and advice and then not listening. My husband used to get annoyed. I don’t do it to be a pain in the butt, or to be disrespectful.
I do it because by finding out what other people think I should do, I clarify what I already know.
You already know what you need to do. You don’t need me, or James Ray or your mother to tell you what it is. I’m just here to support you while you do it.
So don’t believe everything I say, or take a lot of stock in my life experiences if they’re not a good fit for you. AND trust me, you’ll know.
Empower yourself. Let your Authentic Self be the last voice on every decision you make!
How can you tell the difference between your rational and irrational fear? I’d love to know. Comment and help me (and others) with your tips and techniques!
Grass is Always Greener Syndrome
This is part of the big, bad, ugly limiting belief family.
Except that it doesn’t look like a limiting belief, which makes it hard to recognize.
I mean, you’d think that “not settling” and being cautious was a good thing, right?
Right.
Except that sometimes your cowering ego (and by You, I really mean ME) will trick you into thinking that by proceeding you’re settling.
This makes more sense as a true life example.
January has been a tiny bit rocky for me. Nothing catastrophic, or even traumatic, but I seem to be finding excuses to Not Do what I’m “supposed” to be doing.
I listened to my Authentic Self.
She said take a Facebook Break (Oh, and ditch the format of a program that wasn’t working!). Done and done.
But there was still something bugging me, then WAM! Like running into a boulder, I felt it. You know that feeling from when you were a kid and you fell off your bike and had the wind knocked out of you (or maybe that was just me, as a clumsy kid who rode too fast).
It came on fast, but it was gripping!
I was going along, slowly and cautiously. Which is actually quite unlike me. I deal with limiting beliefs A LOT, both in myself and my clients. My process involves acknowledging them, and either letting them be or doing the exact thing I’m afraid of.
Well, then I had a mini-troll. Leaving out details, she told me that I was harming the coaching profession by not educating myself as a coach.
Excuse me?
No where have I claimed to be a “certified” coach. I don’t need to be with my background. It’s in the cards, but I have other things to do.
I don’t think I’ve harmed anyone. Not intentionally. My mission is to spread love, compassion, strength and growth. I also think (and have been told by MANY!) that having a B.A in Psychology and a background in educational psychology, that I know a thing or two about how our brains work, as well as cognitive theory, and all that other stuff.
My ego flared up, and she hurt me, but in a matter of hours I was fine again.
Or so I thought.
What happened is that she brought up my most ugliest limiting belief: You’re not good enough.
I’ve suffered from that one since grade school. (Getting a little revealing here, but that’s part of being authentic. Can’t just talk the talk…gotta walk it too!)
I recognized it, and sought the support needed to deal with it. (HELLO! Best Friend, and Biz Coach….done and dealt with. Or so I thought.)
It wasn’t quite dealt with yet. It was that exact belief that caused: Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome.
When you don’t feel like you’re enough…you’re constantly seeking outwards to find it. Programs, books, coaches…those are all good as long as you recognize the fact that YOU are perfect the way you are right now. But it’s a double edged sword, because you might be confronted with exactly what you need and be too afraid to jump on the opportunity. It happens ALL THE TIME!
Just like that! I realized that ms. mini troll was deflecting her own failure as a coach on me, and that in fact I am good enough…and I have loads of clients and testimonials to prove it.
I’ll finally get to the point. This insignificant person in my life (I have never heard of her before, and I will never again), had the ability to flare up that limiting belief and then turn it into something that nearly caused me to make a huge mistake: Doubt myself.
I began to doubt the decision I made to enter a high end mastermind group (we’re talkin’ 5 figure quality).
To the normal person, this does sound crazy (who pays that much to get coached? The answer: successful people who want action and results FAST!).
BUT because I had this limiting belief, I had a fear that by entering into this one program (and taking on the monthly payments of it) I was cutting off my ability to do other programs. See…grass is always greener.
When talking to the coach about it, I even used the term “Afraid to put all of my financial eggs in one basket.”
Image courtesy of Owais Khan http://www.itvlive.blogspot.com
Did you notice the limited (and lack) language I used. And I was aware of it! (but so confused I could think straight any more)
So I set the intention last night to ask my authentic self to give me the answer, in a clear, loving way so that there was no doubt in my mind around what I should do (enter the mastermind or not).
I got my answer loud and clear this morning, and put the down payment through.
And the truth is, besides clearing out another layer of that nasty limiting belief and exposing more light on it, I’ve also showed the Universe how much faith I have in myself, and the fact that Yes, I do practice what I preach, thank you very much!
- The Universe is abundant. There is no such think as lack.
- I am an awesome human being who deserves to be happy, just because. (Same goes for YOU!)
- Money is just energy.
- Energy is always flowing
- Therefore, money is always flowing (assuming I don’t cut it off with fear and lack mentality).
Another truth…I went through a similar fear when hiring my business coach for the first time (as well as buying my house, paying down my student loan and buying my car). And yet, I have never ever lacked money. Not since I started working. Everything has always been paid for. Just goes to show you that when you stretch…the Universe fills in the gaps.
So there you go. My version of the Grass is Always Greener Syndrome, how the fear of settling nearly cost me a year in business growth, and how I over came it. I have no idea what the point of this post is supposed to be, other than to share with you my authentic self.
Maybe it’s supposed to help you grow, maybe you’ll start to feel that you’re not alone! I hope it does at least one of those.
Criss Angel & The Law of Attraction
I was watching Criss Angel Mindfreak late last night with my husband. (I think that it’s the coolest show ever! Magic and illusions have always fascinated me, ever since watching David Copperfield perform on TV…and doing that “press your finger to the tv on one of the 12 symbols” at 10 years old. Does anyone else remember that?)
Anyway, one of the “tricks” he did involved using energy to get a long lost friend to call a participant.
Let me explain…
So Criss explained to everyone that everything is energy and that a bunch of people, thinking positively about one thing, could in fact cause that very thing to come into reality (aka “manifest” according to us Law of Attraction people).
He had a group of maybe, 100 -150 people, and he made a big deal out of randomly tossing his wrist band, and then having that person toss it again, and then toss it again. So he was separated from the first person 2x.
Then he picked 10 others and lined them up. He walked back and forth in front of them until the other person (the one who caught the wrist band) said “stop.”
All completely randomized.
He stopped on command in front of a young woman with the coolest hair I’ve ever seen. (It was short and had crazy pink streaks. I loved it!)
He asked her, (I’ll call her Jen, but I can’t remember her real name) to hand over her cell phone. Criss gave it to the other girl who had caught the wrist band.
He then asked “jen” to think of someone who she hasn’t talked to in a while, and really wanted to hear from. He asked her to vaguely describe her. Jen talked about Sloane, who is 5′8″, thin, long dark hair, curvy.
Criss asked everyone to think of Sloane. To picture her sillouette, while thinking (but not saying out loud) “Call, Sloane, call!”
Of course, Criss made it dramatic and he got progressively louder. After the 5th “call, Sloane, call!” The phone went off!!!
Guess who it was…Yep. It was a text message from Sloane saying, “Hey [jen] just thinking about you, haven’t talked in a while. Call me.”
Crazy!!! It gets better. Jen hadn’t talked to Sloane in nearly 7 years. They were previously really close.
All I could say was, wow. But I wasn’t really surpirsed. My husband that it was a load of wack, but how can you argue with that? Really.. How else can you explain that?
Point to ponder: What are you thinking? Are you dialed in to group think, in a bad way? Or are you consciously creating your own reality?
I tried to find the segment on You-Tube. It’s not available any more, or maybe I just couldn’t find it. If anyone knows the episode I’m talking about, and knows where to find it online, let me know and I’ll post a link to it.
Who Am I? Confronting my worst fear
To preface this post: I am terrified of FAILURE! It’s a huge driving force for me to succeed, but as I learned, if you don’t look the fear in the eye and tell it to go away it will own you (and you will eventually sabotage yourself anyway).
Sometimes you have to be careful. Well, I’m actually referring to myself in this post (yep, another one all about me 
).
Sometimes I have to be careful OR I will end up not exactly where I wanted to be. Which is where I am.
I know!It’s a bit ironic….
Here I am, an authentic-life coach, and I managed to end up in a bit of an unauthentic place. And now I’m publicly writing about it!!!! But that is exactly why I’m going public, because if I can’t be honest and free…who can?
Here it goes…
So I had a plan, to unveil my Insiders Group. It’s (or rather it was) a monthly membership group. This year’s focus is all about Happiness, Using the Law of Attraction, and Discovering Your Truth. But the last couple of weeks, I just wasn’t feeling it. I ignored that feeling and kept going, which means I didn’t really give it my all to promote it.
I was full of excuses…”It’s through Christmas…people are with their families. I want to spend time with my family, not promoting and working.”
But I had a “niggle” that something wasn’t right. I attributed it to things being slow (but come on, December is so busy for everyone).
Nope, that’s not it.
The truth was that the program had morphed into something that didn’t feel like me. AND it happened slowly and stealthily.
I had to change one thing, but then that one changed affected something else…and then I had to change something else. So before I knew it, my “flexibility” ended up creating a monster.
No matter what I tried I could feel right about it.
In a panic on Monday, I reached out to my business coach for support. I was searching and reaching for something that I could never find. Maybe I should adjust my marketing plan, maybe my niche isn’t right, maybe…maybe…maybe… And in the back of my mind was this thought that I didn’t want to think.
Maybe this program isn’t YOU any more and you need to let it go.
NOOOOOO! That can’t be it, that would be giving in, giving up, and failing. Maybe if I just find something else….
So I was searching and searching, finally I allowed myself to acknowledge that haunting little voice. It wasn’t my ego, or any limiting beliefs, it was my Authentic Self calling me, asking me to return to what I had originally asked for.
My business coach (bless her soul!) made it okay for me to “give up” and actually showed me that giving up was actually going to save me, so it wasn’t really giving up.
So I cancelled my Discover Your Authentic Life Insiders Group. ( I guess you could say this is your official notice)
It had morphed into something that I didn’t want. BUT the crazy thing is, that now that I’ve confronted that fear and gone head first into it, I feel great! I don’t feel like I gave in or failed at all. I feel bright and shiny again, like my self….my authentic self!
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the content that I was preparing to share with the group.
I love all of the experts I had lined up, and all of the cool bonuses I was unveiling.
And I will continue to love all of that, but I don’t have to settle for “good enough” when it comes my business.
If I want to deliver that content in an 8 week program, I can. I don’t need to be flexible when it comes to that part of me. There is no need for me to conform to what others want me to do, at least not to the point where I have lost myself and my voice.
From this, I have re-found my authentic voice and I want you to learn a few things:
- Flexible is good. Just make sure it always feels good to you. There is no point in bending until it hurts (or even just “niggles.”)
- Support is imperative! Think of all of the money I could have spent on books, marketing solutions and courses trying to make my idea right. There isn’t enough money in the world to throw at a problem that comes from covering up your authentic self. Instead of spending thousands on systems, I funnel my budget towards my coaching and mentorship. Don’t get me wrong, systems are wonderful. They make life much simpler, but only if you have the right intention behind them. And you can’t always find that intention if you’re trying to fit yourself into a vision that doesn’t work for you anymore. If I didn’t have my coach to tell me that it was okay to change my mind, and then change my mind again and again and again, if I needed to, then I would have just thrown money at the problem and tried to make it go away.
- Working on it doesn’t work. Yep, you’ve heard me say this before. It’s the title of one of my fave books AND a subject I was covering in the Insiders Group (is that ironic??) but it’s really true. Like I said above, you can’t work on something to fix it. You have to acknowledge it and let it be. When I acknowledged that the group had turned into something that I didn’t want anymore, the problem immediately disappeared. Instantly! I realized that there was no problem and could see the non-solution! (Which was cancel the group as it is, use the content in a different way (when it feels right) AND focus on what you love (my Master LIFE Cleanse material)). So that is what I’m doing. I quick working on it, and just acknowledged it’s presence, and now it’s gone.
- Everyone gets stuck sometimes (see the importance of #2). Even authentic-life coaches and people who “should” know better. In fact, it’s very very easy and only takes one “should” or obligation or “have to.” Very important to have someone who can point this out, and give your permission to do what scares you (but that you know you want to do anyway).
- It’s okay to be afraid of the authentic self, but don’t let that deter you from following it. (See #2 to help you get through that fear!)
So those are my lessons. I now feel free, fabulous and can’t wait to re-direct my energy to something that really feels great to me! I will revisit the Happiness, Using the Law of Attraction, and Discovering Your Truth stuff (after all I absolutely love that stuff too!), but it wil
l change to fit me instead of me changing to fit it!
Go out there, get that vision straight, know you’re non-negotiables and listen to those niggles! It’s all okay!
What I learned from 2009
I just got back from a solid week of traveling, family and friends. Now it’s January 1, 2010 and I’m feeling a bit sentimental. (I get that way sometimes)
Looking back to one year ago, as I was approaching 2009, I knew it would be a huge year. In fact, I remember saying to myself, “Kim, 2009 is going to be Your Year.”
And so I set the intention to do everything I needed to (scary or not) to stretch my boundaries, grow and prosper, and that is exactly what happened. I’m not the only one. I can think of a handful of my clients too (just off the top of my head) who grew and thrived in a “tough” economy. It’s not always about money.
So I’ve created a brief list of things I learned in 2009 that helped me create success beyond my wildest dreams.
- It’s all about your energy. This is something I “knew” early on, but didn’t really get until toward the end of the year. Sometimes it takes a while for me to fully absorb a concept but once I get it, it really sticks. Everything is energy. It really is. Which means that you want to protect your good energy as much as possible. The key to happiness (and health and wealth) is feeling good. The problem is that we spend so much time “unconscious” that we don’t notice we’re feeling bad. It’s that kind of thing where you didn’t know how terrible you felt, until you felt really good. I know that in the last 3 months, since I’ve really be very aware (or sensitive) to how I am feeling, I have been happier. Feeling good is the key to releasing resistance and having your dream life come to you quicker.
- Working on yourself doesn’t work. Stop trying to go back and repair or make yourself better, instead start NOW and do better. There is not point in rehashing past failures because the past does not necessarily predict the future. All you have is now, and you can create you life as you desire (if you know how).
- People are your path to success. I used to struggle with this one. In fact, only a couple of years ago I did everything myself. About 13 months ago, I wouldn’t even hire a coach. I had the counselling experience, and I figured I could just read a book or take more classes to reach the happiness and wealth level I was after. Boy was I wrong! Not only did I struggle (needlessly), I was lonely and frustrated and discouraged. Then I smartened up. I realized that I create my success, BUT the easiest way was to hire someone to teach me how AND surround myself with people I really admire by participating in mentoring circles and mastermind groups. THE BEST DECISION I ever made for my career, and possible the third best decision (after marrying my hubby and buying our house) in my personal life. Really. The right people know the right strategies and the right systems…and when you have those, you hold the key to success in every are in your life.
- Anger and fear are okay, but don’t let them hang around too long. A visit from these emotions is okay, it actually sets you up perfectly to know exactly what you do want, from the contrast of knowing what you don’t want. It’s a powerful place to be in, for a short time. Don’t let these feelings dwell too long because they can easily take over and mess up your energy if you’re not careful.
- You never know how things will turn out. Weird “coincidences” can lead to success. I shared a story in my interview with Anisa Aven in my Discover Your Authentic Life Tele-Series a couple of months ago. In February 2009, I knew I wanted to do something big…a catalyst to expand myself and my business, but I didn’t know what. I put the desire out there, and forgot about it. Then an series of opportunities came into my life (and none of them looked connected) that actually created the exact event that expanded myself and my business. I learned to let go of the “how” and follow my inspiration, even if it meant taking a program that appeared to have nothing to do with what I wanted to create. (Although I got way more value from it than expected).
- Honesty is the best policy when it comes to YOU. Get real. Success follows the authentic self, not the fake one, so if you’re trying to create success from a place out of integrity with the real you it is going to take way more work, sweat, tears and frustration. Discover your authentic self, your inner calling, your true dreams and the happiness, health and wealth will follow.
- You are completely, 100% responsible. Do not equate responsibility with blame! That is probably what gets so many people in a tizzy when I talk about this. Being responsibly for your success (and life) simply means that you can choose how your respond to any situation, not that you control the situation. So if you aren’t seeing the results in your business, or love life, or weight…it is completely to do with how you’re responding. I used to be to cheap to hire anyone to help me. BIG MISTAKE, and it showed in my results. I also used to have an extra 25 lbs, and it wasn’t until I got out of denial and asked for help that I lost it (and kept it off, easily). This is true for everything in your life.
You have it in you to create the best year of your life. Learn from my mistakes and get started now!
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
4 Tips for a Slim Holiday Season
I know that Christmas is fast approaching. This is a struggle for many people who
imagine a thinner silhouette. I have a few tips up my sleeve to help you get through
the next couple of weeks with out destroying your fun!
#1 DON’T CUT OUT THE COMFORT FOOD.
Often the first things to go when “on a diet” is the comfort food.
With Eat, Shrink & Be Happy, you’re not on a diet. BUT you may be tempted to cut out all chocolate, sugar, potatoes and bread. DON’T DO IT!
In my own experience, the moment I tell myself, “Kim, you know you said you wouldn’t eat that,” that is ALL I can think about. It occupies my entire mind space. Then what happens? … I end up sitting down and eating an entire bag of crackers and brie!
Don’t fall into that trap! There is nothing that will test your will power and your
sanity more, than cutting out comfort food.
Try this instead: Don’t cut it out. Allow yourself to eat whatever you want, but
pay attention to every bite. Notice the flavor and texture and enjoy every bit of
it. You’ll notice you eat a lot less because you are aware when you’re satisfied and you
just naturally stop eating.
#2 NOTICE WHEN YOU’RE HUNGRY. BUT if you’re going to eat it anyway:
“I’m not hungry but I’m going to eat this anyway.”
Another corner-stone of my action guide is to constantly check in and see
whether you’re hungry or not. Sometimes you aren’t hungry, but have a
craving anyway. Decide that you’re going to eat it. Say it out loud. (Go
into the bathroom so people don’t think you’re nuts) and repeat:
“I’m not hungry but I’m going to eat this anyway.”
Then promise yourself that you’re going to enjoy every last bit. AND
promise yourself you will not feel guilty afterward. This doesn’t work if you eat it
and then beat yourself up. That will just cause more emotional cravings.
#3 PRESENTATION IS KEY.
Something that looks beautiful and has a beautiful name is going to
taste better. It is also going to make you feel more satisfied.
Think of 2 restaurants: A fast food chain, they name their signature
hamburger….a hamburger.
Now think of a really fancy restaurant.
They might also have a hamburger, with the very same ingredients
(basically) and it is called something like a “Texan’s Choice Sirloin
Beef Steak Burger”.
What makes your mouth water more? What do you think will satisfy
you more? Yep. The fancy one.
So if you are hosting the holiday meal, come up with some interesting
names for some of your dishes. (Think “Gourmet Frenched Green Bean
Casserole, and 12 Whole Grain, Cranberry and Almond Stuffing.
You guests will be wowed (they will think you put more work into it
and they’ll think it tastes better) and you will be satisfied with less, because
you have tricked your brain into thinking it’s better quality.
#4 20% RULE
This is probably the easiest to do (in theory). You can eat 20% more
or less and your stomach doesn’t notice. They have actually done
studies on this.
This is great news now that you know it. SO put 20% less on your plate
than you think you will want to eat. (You might try to hold back 1 scoop of
mashed potatoes, and 2 pieces of turkey instead of 3).
Don’t try to put 50% less. You will notice, then you’ll go back for seconds
and the point of this is wasted. 20% will do. Then eat it, savoring it.
Set the intention to eat only until you are no longer hungry and enjoy
every second!
Hopefully those tips will have you thinking in a more relaxed way. Have
a plan in mind to tackle the next couple of weeks. The holidays don’t
have to be a struggle for you!
Remember that you are fabulous exactly as you are right now. And
that you’re doing the best you can. Your perfect body is the one you’re in.
In 6 months she might weigh less, but she will still be the same person.
Relax. Use a smaller plate, a taller glass and enjoy every minute of
these wonderful days!
Interested in more tips for surviving the holiday food-fest? Check out the Eat, Shrink, and Be Happy Action Guide. Not a diet book, it will help you to accept yourself, love yourself and lose weight while you admire the wonderful women in the mirror!
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
