from Positive Inspirational Quotes (PIQ) on Facebook

I love this and I think it goes nicely with our Dump The Junk in 2012 theme. It’s not about making the toxic relationship ‘bad’ or creating enemies, it’s about setting a boundary for yourself that tells the world and the universe that you deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be valued. That starts by valuing your authentic self.

Don’t forget to sign up for the FREE Dump The Junk eCourse! You can learn more at http://kimberlyenglot.com/dumpthejunkcourse

• “I love her, but I dread spending time with her…”
• “But, we’ve been friends FOREVER…”
• “I never feel like she truly listens to me, but she never fails to call me at 3am after another bad break up.”
• “He only calls me when he needs money.”
• “I dread meetings with him. He manages to make me feel so inadequate…”

I get at least one email with a similar example per month, from someone who is unsure if they’re in a toxic relationship, and what to do about it.

The basic question they’re asking is: Should I Stay? or Should I Go? And they’re looking for permission to do what their heart is already whispering: This person isn’t good for you. Get out now!

But the guilt sets in. Followed by the rational excuses to stay:

• You’re a nice person.
• You don’t want to hurt their feelings.
• You don’t want to deal with the drama.
• You can’t leave your job right now.
• It’s better to have negative contact than NO contact…at least this way you know they’re okay.

And on and on go the reasons to put up with this hurtful, harmful treatment.

Because only YOU can truly know the answer, I won’t give you a concrete Yes or No answer on how to identify and deal with a toxic relationship. I will give you 4 questions to help you assess if this is a toxic person for you (remember: toxic doesn’t mean they’re bad people…just bad for you, right now) and how invested you are in trying to save it.

Consider: Physical and Emotional reaction when with Person X. List 5 normal reactions for each. Then ask:

1. What am I getting out of this relationship? (Why am I still allowing this relationship, if I have already identified it as toxic.)

2. Do I truly care about the survival of this relationship, or has it just been something I’ve unconsciously continued with?

3. Do I cherish this person and everything they offer for me?

4. Am I willing to possibly do all the work in this relationship to make it work? Do I take full responsibility for my part and still (honestly) wish to continue?

If you’re interested in seeing a FREE video on my favorite techniques for dealing with people who drive you crazy, and the 10 Part Dump The Junk eCourse (with free reports, audios and articles sent directly to your inbox once or twice a week) REGISTER HERE:

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Good morning lovely readers!

I’ve been waiting for this day for months and it’s finally here. It’s like waiting for Christmas morning (I love that feeling) and I can now officially reveal my FREE Limited Edition follow up to Dump The Junk & Be Happy:

Dump The Junk & Be Happy: Biz, Career, Money!

It was written by me and 11 other successful women in business. We realized that you need to switch your mindset if you’re going to create a business that actually makes money (so may business owners give up because it’s just too hard, and heart-breaking). This book is all about mastering your mindset, releasing what doesn’t work (like self doubt, needing everyone to like you, fear, worry, lack mentality) and how to do it to ensure that you create a life and a business that fits YOU and makes you happy.

This is your life!

Learn more and get this FREE eBook before it disappears…yes, it really is a Limited Edition!

Go to http://kimberlyenglot.com/dumpthejunk to grab your copy.

Quick reminder:

Mother-In-Law always criticizing how you raise your kids?

Angry unsubscriber picking on grammar, spelling or how often you email your list?

Ex who says stuff like, “Hey, I love that dress. It reminds me off my Grandma” ?

It’s NOT about you, don’t take it personally.

Even if they are brave enough to facilitate a direct attack on you, it’s not really about you.

It’s a Junk story they’ve created in their own heads.

That’s about them…you’re fabulous, just as you are.

Day 4 was a big one! You CAN’T miss these calls. Really. Watch the highlights and the go listen to the actual calls.

Free Registration is closed, but you can receive all of the calls when you UpLevel Your Success Now.

We had a Money Mindset Theme for Day 3. There are still a few hours left to catch some of yesterday’s calls.
Register at Emergency Mindset Makeover if you haven’t already.

View the highlight video below:

It’s time to set aside the fear of failure, greatness, not enough, and not perfect. You already are perfect and you are as ready as you’ll ever be.

Learn how to identify and manage the fear of success and failure by joining us for the Emergency Mindset Makeover Telesummit, June 20-24. It won’t cost you a dime, but it will change your life forever.

Live Fearlessly Now. Learn more about the Emergency Mindset Makeover Telesummit and how it will end self sabotage.

Good Morning,

It’s time for my BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

The last few weeks I’ve immersed myself in my latest, top secret project. Although a few details have leaked out because those involved have been unable to keep it to themselves (I can’t really blame them!) today is the official announcement.

I’ve assembled some stellar ladies–those I have worked with or really, really admire…to help me bring some integrity, truth and REAL authenticity back into the business/coaching/online realm.

We’re getting real and vulnerable and sharing dirty details about fear, limiting beliefs and self sabotage. I’ve been busy speaking with each expert and I can’t gush enough about the Aha moment’s I’ve had, along with the integrity and transparency each women is bringing to the table. Really.

If you have ever held yourself back, and beat yourself up about it…if you’ve ever really, really wanted something, but not gone after it…if you’ve ever sat back an thought, ‘WTH, what am I doing wrong?’ I invite you to check out my Emergency Mindset Makeover telesummit.

http://www.emergencymindsetmakeover.com/

I recorded a short 5 minute video to explain more and all the delicious details are on the site. This might just change your perspective forever.

Imagine no more need to be perfect. No more worrying about what others think. No more ‘what if’ or ‘I wish’ or ‘I can’t’. Just perfectly, imperfect action that gets your life humming along an allows you to fully participate in everything you’ve been dreaming of.

None of us are perfect, we openly admit it. We’re human. So are you…and because we’re all human, I believe you can do it. I’ve done it…you can too.

So check out the page and see if it’s for you. Entrepreneur or not, you will come away with some life changing thoughts at the very least!

xoxo,

PS: Join us live…It’s totally free, from June 20-24th. Again, all details are at http://www.emergencymindsetmakeover.com/

PPS: Life is great and you deserve happiness

I had eye surgery last Friday. Besides minor discomfort, and the inability to read or spend much time on my computer for 3 days, it was not a big deal.

Something strange happened, though. After wearing glasses for 20 years, I found myself feeling like a part of my identity was gone. Strange? Yes. Silly? Probably…but it’s given me the opportunity to, literally, have a new pair of eyes and a fresh perspective.

So, as I was lying on my couch last Friday afternoon, I was thinking about the other things in my life that don’t belong any more (besides glasses) that I’d been tolerating for too long. Luckily, there weren’t many things, and nothing major. My list contained:

• The 3 boxes of clothing and housewares that need to be donated to charity (sitting in the garage for 4 months)
• The silly idea that I have to do it all, and be perfect at it
• Not running, even though it bugs me when I don’t, and even though I get positive vibes after
• Thinking I ‘have to’ run in the 10k every year, just because I have in the past

That’s it. So the next day we got those boxes out of the garage and donated, I’m actively working on NOT being perfect (why even try, it’s so obvious I’m not), and the running thing…well, I know it’s there so I’m going to be working on releasing that to (or just doing it!)

Are you letting Junk pile up?

Is it time to look at life again, with a fresh new perspective and clarity around what you want?

Life is busy. Careers, spouses, kids, parents, obligations…that doesn’t leave a lot for the average woman to take time for herself. This leads to resentment, frustrations, even rage (or worse) numbness.

If you’re feeling that way, it’s time to do a clean sweep on the Junk in your life.

Being so busy, it’s easy to let the Junk pile up…after all you’ll get to it later. Except that you don’t, and so the pile continues to grow little by little until you wake up one morning unable to bear it and then completely freak out.

This moment is completely avoidable, if you make the time to periodically cleanse the Junk in the first place.

Think of life like a pristine vase. It’s beautiful, clean, and only contains things you LOVE. Over time someone will tell you that you must have ‘ABC’ in your container, and even though you don’t want it there, you let it in. Someone else tells you to add ‘DEF’, and again, you don’t really think it fits but because they said so, you add it. It feels wrong, but the more things that other people TELL you to add, the less ‘wrong’ it feels and your ability to tolerate it goes up. Until one day you find your beautiful, pristine vase dirty, scummy, and overflowing with garbage!

YUCK! No wonder you feel so bad.

If you take the time go clear out the vase every once in a while, the Junk stays out, and you don’t get used to tolerating things that aren’t good for you.

Take 15 minutes today, do it right now if you have time, to look into your Vase and find the things that don’t belong in there. Make a list, set the intention to do a cleanse, and then get to work!

The following items are ‘Junk’:

1. People who constantly belittle you, make you feel stupid, or tell you that you can’t do something.
2. The thoughts/beliefs that tell you those meanies are right.
3. The activities that you don’t enjoy any more, even if you once loved them.
4. The fear that you’re not good enough or that you’re a burden
5. The Oprah magazines from 2003 that you’re going to get to ‘later’
6. The books on your shelf that you haven’t read, and you feel guilty about that every time you look at them (read them, or donate them.)
7. The j.o.b that barely pays your bills, doesn’t fulfill you, and makes you cry.
8. The ‘Friend’ who only calls you when she wants something.
9. Worrying about things that don’t really matter (or thinking that by worrying, you’re some how preventing it).
10. Anything in your house that you a) don’t use b) don’t love c) don’t want.

It’s easy to get too busy to notice the Junk, but you really don’t want to wake up in 40 years drained and feeling abused. This is in your control. Do something about it!

If you KNOW you need to do something about it, but need some guidance or support, contact me (kimberly@kimberlyenglot.com) for a complimentary Discovery Session. We’ll figure out what doesn’t belong, what you need to add back in, and how to do it in a way that makes you happy! This is your life, your happiness is up to YOU. Fight for it!

It’s interesting that this should appear in my life right now (the LoA working wonders!) as I was just having a conversation yesterday about the lack of integrity out there, which led me to share a video I made last year about internet “Trolls.”

This video by Deborah King (author of Truth Heals) is another great take on the toxic person, and the types of psychic attack that may show up because of them.

What do you think? Do you agree with this? Disagree? Think it’s a load of cr@p? Experienced it before? Share your thoughts.

Want to see the video that sparked some conversation on Facebook? “Don’t Feed The Trolls” from January 2010. Watch it here. I also write an entire section about Energy Vampires in my book The Now of Happiness. Learn more or purchase a copy here.