Why is life falling apart?

eZine Volume 2 Issue #43 Find the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list!	The Center for Authentic Self  Development
This eZine is dedicated to bringing you tips and techniques so you can: ~break out of the feelings of guilt, selfishness, anger and resentment. ~ learn to uncover your core values, live according to your authentic self, and increase your confidence in your decisions. ~harness the Law of Attraction to live authentically and have more health, wealth and happiness. Authentic Self Good Morning,%$firstname$%! I have officially started the “cleansing process” in more ways than one. After rushing around trying to please many people, my body has retaliated by requiring me to slow down and rest! Yep, I’ve come down with a cold. How ironic that as I start the third session of the Master Life Cleanse, purging real toxins from my life and body. And I have been running into a record number of toxic people the last few weeks! Luckily, I am much faster at recognizing them and making sure to either shift them out of my life, or protect my energy from their incredibly negative nature. Today’s article is one I wrote on “Chemicalization,” which also appears to be happening. It the why your life might start to “fall apart” when you get clear on what you truly want. My life is not falling apart , but I have a feeling that chemicalization is the reason for me coming across so many toxic people right now. I will all make sense in the Featured Article below, I promise. So with that, I’m off to grab some tea before I prep for a couple of coaching sessions later. xoxo Kim Premium Membership Call October 25th: LET IT GO: Excess Weight on Your Body and In Your Mind that is holding you hostage This is the last month for my eZine Readers to become a charter member for only $10 a month. The price DOUBLES to $20 a month on November 1, 2010. “A number on a scale isn’t the key to happiness.” Bob Greene In call #3 of the 4 part “Let It Go” series You Will Learn: The 4 steps to leading a fulfilled life today! (This will naturally make you want to be healthy.) The #1 Sabotaging belief that keep you (and your mindset) “fat”. What “Happiness Anxiety” is and why your weight-loss success depends on know it. And more Become a charter member and pay the $10/ month introductory price for as long as you stay! http://kimberlyenglot.com/services/membership/ Confessions of this Desperate Housewife A few weeks ago, I got real with myself and I created a video I made that summed up EXACTLY how I felt 3 years ago.  Then I got scared and wanted to play small. I didn’t want to show it to anyone. I didn’t want people to see me differently or think badly of me. I didn’t want to show my shadow side to all of you. Then Wednesday, after talking to my coach, she told me to stop playing small and show it to people. (I believe she said something along the lines of, “pull up your big girl panties and share your experience with others who might be feeling alone right now.”). Still afraid, I only sent it to a segment of my list. So only about 20% of you received an email with the video link in it. Now I am officially ready to bare my spirit to 100% of my readers… So here we go. Watch the video by clicking on the link below. http://kimberlyenglot.com/authentic-self/desperatehousewives Featured Article “Chemicalization” and the Law of Attraction: Why life falls apart when you decide to go for what you really want You’ve set the intention to consciously use the Law of Attraction (LOA) to design your life. You want more money, a better job and a new car. You believe it will come to you. Now your life has completely gone to the dogs! Your current car got rear-ended and it’s going to cost you a fortune to fix! Then you hear rumours of cutbacks in your company! This is not what you asked for…or is it? Warning: The Law of Attraction: Be careful what you wish for! One reason you’re so distressed is that you are labelling these occurrences as “negative” or “bad.” This is natural, since our brain works best with labels, but it’s also causing you problems.  These changes are neither bad, nor good. They just are. The problem is that what you asked for (a new car, new job and more money) has a much different vibrational frequency that what you currently have. This means that in order for you to attract what you want, you need to change your energy frequency…and “align” yourself with what you want. You only label this as “scary” or “bad” when you step out of the current moment and start to create stories. The best way to explain this, “Something had to move your vibrational energy with something different.” (Bob Doyle). This experience that you’ve labelled as bad is a process called chemicalization. Basically it means that sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. This isn’t necessarily true, but is many people’s reality when they start to consciously use the LOA. There are times when what you say you want, and what you’re willing to do are very different. In order to accomplish the goal, you might need to be influenced in other ways. That is, you say you want a new car, but you’re not willing to go and buy one. So the Universe grants you your wish in another way. There are internal struggles that might occur when what you consciously want and believe doesn’t match up with your unconscious beliefs. This is chemicalization and it’s a process of transformation. I have a metaphor that I love to use to explain the process. Chemicalization often occurs when you make a choice to change drastically. Think of it like a forest fire…and unfortunate but sometimes necessary occurrence. Burning through the forest kills a lot of things, some good, some bad, but it’s necessary. And the forest always grows back stronger and healthier. It’s the same thing happening in your life. This is the universe responding to your request for change. You cannot control the form that this change takes. It might appear as “awful” when you’re in the middle of it, but on the other side things will make more sense. Understand that it’s just you labelling it as bad, and that it’s just the Universe “burning through” your life so that it can grow back happier, healthier, stronger and more authentic to you. Instead of labelling chemicalization as bad, view it as a good thing. Frame your situation with a new perspective; see this as a way for you to start fresh! Yes, you wanted a new car, new job and more money. The Universe is beginning to give you what you asked for. By getting rear-ended, you will be required to get a new car because it costs too much to fix the old one. Maybe the fear of getting laid off gave you the incentive to work harder and boost your productivity. Your boss notices your new ambitions and promotes you. You now have your new car, new job and more money. That is just one example in an infinite number of possibilities for how the situation will play out. Our minds are very limited, but the Universe is not. Time to let go of control and trust in something bigger than yourself. It’s not your job to figure out how or why. It’s your job to trust your intuition and act when you’re inspired to. Don’t view chemicalization as bad, but as an opportunity to practice true faith in receiving what you asked for! Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following: Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of  The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish. Authentic Resources Authentic Self Expressions Radio (October 29 ) Last week I spoke with Morgana Rae on manifesting money… and her ideas with the “Money Honey”! Learn what the heck she is talking about! Listen to the archived show after:  http://blogtalkradio.com/authentic-self. As always, you can still listen to my archived podcasts at http://kimberlyenglot.com/podcasts/ VIP Coaching Interested in a coach to guide you through the start to your new life? Let me know, I’d love to help. Send me an email: kimberly@kimberlyenglot.com and we’ll set up a FREE Discover Session to find out what you’re looking for. Manage Your Subscription You may absolutely share this eZine with people you think may enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the contact and copyright information. Thanks and enjoy! If you’re new to this eZine and would like to receive valuable tips, tools and inspirations so that you can put yourself back on your priority list without feeling guilty or selfish,  by email each week, you can register here. The Authentic Self eZine is written by Kimberly Englot and The Center for Authentic Self Development. If you have any questions or comments, please send them to: kimberly@kimberlyenglot.com . The Center for Authentic Self Development Box 1457 Martensville, SK CANADA S0K 2T0 © 2010 Authentic Self Personal Development. All Rights Reserved.

Intuition: 3 Ways to hear your inner guidance

One of my favorite new books is by Sonia Choquette: Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living. If you are looking for a book written in a language a “normal person” can understand (no woo-woo weirdness in sight) I suggest you grab a copy.

Sonia demonstrates hundreds of exercises for how to get in touch with your intuition and start living a “six sensory life.” I’ve combed through the entire book and decided to share 3 of the easiest ways for you to start tapping into your own intuition. (You can listen to my Podcast on this topic, as well. Click HERE.)

Keep in mind that intuition is a whisper, compared to the shouting of your ego, so you’ll have to try something new in order to hear it when it speaks.

1. Listen to your body.
   Intuition reaches the body first, because your body doesn’t “think” it’s way through life. (Your heart doesn’t think before it beats, your lungs don’t think before they expand, and your stomach doesn’t think before it growls with hunger). Because of that wonderful lack of a thought process, your body interprets the energy around you without bias.
   HOWEVER, most of you are so busy and overwhelmed with interactions and energy, you are numb and desensitized to the less invasive energies, like intuition.  When you’re on the right track, your body knows. You have to get used to noticing the difference.
   You know what I mean, when you’re headed in the right direction, you feel good. You feel calm, rested, centered. When you know you’re going the wrong way, you can feel it in your gut. Your stomach might tighten, you get headaches or start to sweat. This are signals that you’re not listening to your intuition…and your body is trying to warn you. (To be fair, sometimes your body gets confused I don’t have space to dig into it here, but understand that 99% of the time your body is right on track for knowing exactly what you should be doing in order to fulfill your life’s purpose).
   The more your pay attention to your body signals, the faster you learn your unique “tells” and the easier it gets for you to follow your gut, literally!
   
2. Be Quiet!
   To hear your intuition you have to be sensitive enough to the “vibes” it sends out. Intuition is very discreet and will never interrupt or take over your Inner Critic or the constant mind chatter. Be quiet so you can hear your intuition whispering.
   The simplest way to be quiet and shut off the mind chatter is to meditate, but before you groan and complain and stop reading all together I want to give you a simpler definition of meditation. It doesn’t have to mean putting on your LuLu Lemons, find a silent dark room and spending 45 minutes in an awkward position breathing in and out and chanting “Om,” (although that is a perfectly fine way to meditate if you’re that advanced). Try what is called Mindful Meditation and it just means being quiet and focusing only on what you’re doing. Pick something easy at first like laundry or walking, something that doesn’t require a lot of worry that you’ll do it wrong. And just do it. Just quietly fold the laundry, letting the thoughts come and go and not getting attached. That’s it. Do it for 10-15 minutes a day to start and TaDa you’re someone who “meditates”! During these quiet times you’ll easily identify when your intuition is speaking to you, you’ll get an insane drive to do something or go somewhere, but it will feel like a whisper and will disappear quickly if you don’t act.
   
3. Go With The Flow.
   This is probably the hardest of the 3 tips, at least if you’re a recovering perfectionist/control freak like me. It’s really quite simple, though; If you want your intuition to guide your life, you have to be flexible to the idea that God/The Universe knows better than you do. You have to understand that flexibility is the key.
   Allow your thinking and acting to be flexible. I like to phrase it this way, “Have a plan, but don’t be too attached to it.” Be open to last minute changes because there might be a better, faster, more fantastic way for you to reach your goal…a way you never thought of.  Butt out and quit trying to micromanage every last detail of your life.
   Start off easily by loosening up your body. If your body is loose and flexibly, you’ll feel better and more open to going with the flow. Also, your body will be better able to interpret the “vibes” (see tip #1) if you’re not tense and ready to jump out of your skin. Bend, stretch, walk, do what you can to move your body.

Test out those tips and start getting to know your vibes! After a while you’ll notice that coincidence isn’t really coincidence anymore.

Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:

Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of  The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.

Thought: You only truly grow by letting things go

Sometimes you just need a fresh start…

Not that you should drop everything and run away from your problems, but there is a lot to be said for dumping the old junk that isn’t working any more and starting from scratch!

I know, I’ve done it often, and after the first few times it’s not scary anymore.

• I dumped the junk when I gave up my “dream” of practicing psychology, because once I got a taste of it, it wasn’t a dream anymore.
• I dumped the junk when I moved to a city I said I would NEVER live in.
• I dumped the junk when I lost 25 lbs of pain, anxiety and self-hatred.
• I dumped the junk when I allowed myself to be imperfect and “out of control” sometimes.
• I dumped the junk when I took the leap to start my coaching practice.
• I dumped the junk when I hired someone to help me….and when I found out how much it would cost! (and then discovered she is worth her weight in gold!!!)
  
• I have dumped the junk countless times within my business, too.
• I dumped the junk starting my own radio show.
• I dumped the junk when I wrote my first action guide.
• I dumped the junk when I wrote the first draft of my print book, The Happiness Formula.
• I dumped the junk in several programs that, in the end, became something I didn’t want anymore.

And each time I “dump the junk” (big or small), I feel lighter and I know myself more. Funny how you only truly grow by letting things go. It’s not the accumulation of things that defines you, it’s the releasing.

Anyway, if you’re ready to start “dumping your junk”, make sure you grab a copy of my FREE ebook, “Dump The Junk (and be happy)”. Just click on the book on the right side of this page.

Boost Your Happiness When You Escape The Comparison Trap

Authentic in business…it’s a phrase that people have been over-using (and under-delivering) in the last 18 months. Which is why this post by my own coach, Gina Bell is so important. As the authentic-life coach, I make it my business to find out what it means to be authentic, how you can discover your authentic self, and live according to that authentic self In ALL Area’s.  And Gina and I are like 2 sides of the same coin, her focus on business and authenticity, mine is a focus on the authentic life in general (of which careers are a part of that). If I needed to pick one person who fully “gets me” and understands the importance of all the stuff I teach, it’s Gina.

So read her guest blog post and let us know what you think! If you like it, make sure you register for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover call, because we’ve teamed up to talk about creating total happiness in all of your life. You can register at http://kimberlyenglot.com/hhteleseminar, or on Gina’s links at the end of the post.

Enjoy!

Now, be honest… how often do you observe others? Everybody does it.

Sometimes we look on with pure fascination – absolutely amazed by the life and business someone else is experiencing. Other times though, we are left feeling frustrated, jealous and deflated like we just don’t measure up.

Comparing ourselves to others is a knee-jerk reaction that I call the comparison trap.

It’s not your fault; it’s a natural reaction and occurs at a subconscious level. The problem is that if you aren’t able to recognize it for what it is (and, when it’s happening), the impact is a domino effect, and it’s not pretty…

Here’s what to watch for…

The first red flag is your inner critic (that voice we all have inside our heads) throws a party! Woohoo! “You really suck today don’t you!” it says! Or “You’ll NEVER be as good as she is!” and so on.

Next, as the negative voice in your head gets louder and louder you start to question if there’s any truth to it. This is where doubt creeps in and self-confidence takes a nose dive!

Some people get completely stuck here.

And worse… (yes, it can get worse) we begin to make changes from this place of comparison and the moment we do, our authenticity (who we REALLY are) is often sacrificed in the process.

We start to “model success” the only way we know how which is to “emulate and copy”, to “do what they do”. The problem is that what they do, who THEY are, the life and career they are creating may not be authentic to you. Doing what they do may not be leading you to live YOUR best life.

Are you beginning to see the slippery slope?

In the short term it can appear as though things are turning round but the faux success and happiness are usually short-lived and we are not fulfilled by it. We begin to notice that something is missing. Something doesn’t feel right. And that’s because YOU, your authenticity was sacrificed in the process.

If you’re not careful the cycle can repeat.

I know because I experienced the comparison trap in a big way as an entrepreneur.

“Model success” is one of those common pieces of advice you get as an entrepreneur (aside from “you’ve got to get out there and network”)… the problem is that nobody tells you HOW to model success and, the results can be pretty ugly!

I woke up one day and realized that the companies, programs and products I had created did not reflect ME… I had checked my authenticity at the door the moment I started to compare myself to others. I second guessed. I doubted. And then I created from a place of compar ison and lack of confidence rather than my authenticity and passion.

One of my colleagues calls this a “me too” approach and she’s dead on! And, we fall into the trap the moment we look outside of ourselves to define success or for validation that our ideas are valuable.

It was like I had put on my favourite sweater but it had shrunk in the wash. It just didn’t fit or feel right anymore. Here I was, in my late 30′s (almost 40 years old) wanting and needing to basically START OVER (and to do it according to MY definition of success!)

The good news is that I was able to turn it all around – and quickly too!

Join me for the Happiness and Harmony Makeover call on March 3^rd where I’ll share how I turned it all around and “started over” in a totally new, authentic and confident direction – in just a few short months! And how you can too if you’ve found yourself in this situation (doesn’t matter if it’s life or business related – the advice is transferable).

Coming out the other side so quickly and so successfully and knowing there are other women just like me who are unknowingly sacrificing their authenticity for the sake of success is why I’m so thrilled to be co-hosting this call.

You can register now at http://snipurl.com/hh2010

See you on the call

~ Gina xo