My Opinion Matters Most

You might think that sounds egotistical of me. But here is the thing, when it comes to me: my thoughts, my actions, my choices…my opinion is what matters most.

A bit of background for you as to how I came about this revelation:

I grew up in a happy environment. Did well in school. Always helping others. Blah, blah, blah…but I really relied on others approval as a guiding system.

• Do my homework, get 90%…teacher happy, Kim happy!
• Home before curfew…mom happy, Kim happy!
• Babysit at last minute even though I already had plans….neighbor happy, Kim not happy.

WAIT! Something is wrong here. When did I start relying on others to make me happy? That is not fair, to me or them, and it gives a way my power.

Fast forward a bit and I’m discovering my authentic self. This was just before I started my business. I suddenly got it one day; I had to be happy first, because then I’m more generous with time and money, and I’m nicer to be around…and things just flow better. So I started to do that. Make myself happy.

Fast forward a couple more years. I finally understand (with my brain) that not everyone is going to like my “stuff.” In fact, generally speaking about 50% of people will think I’m just full of cr@p.

“BUT I’m not used to that! People always like me!” I told myself, alarmed!

Yep, it was a hard reality to learn. But everywhere I turned that is exactly what people were telling me, “gotta toughen up.”

Then I learned more about attraction marketing (I’m talking about business again here) and how to ensure that only people who like what you’re doing and are at least moderately interested in what you have to say, will sign up, buy your stuff, or follow you.

So I limited the amount of negativity in my life by learning how to do that.

I just got one. It had to do with an email I just sent out. The person pointed out a mistake and then went on to basically tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing and that I should learn a thing or two before I bother them again. I’ve changed some details (in case this person actually does read my blogs), but my heart stopped and my stomach left my body.

I got all flustered and started to shake…then the stories started,

“I should have checked that first. People are going to think I’m an idiot. How could I make such a silly error!”

Then I researched the problem, and it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing was actually wrong, I made a simply mechanical error. That’s it.

So my fault, yes, but worth a ranty email? No.

In fact this person wasn’t even ranting at me. Maybe their in box is full and I was just the tipping point. Maybe they just had a fight with someone, got stuck in traffic, got fired, or was summoned for jury duty. Whatever it was, it wasn’t about me.

That’s when I really got it! (and it’s still sinking in as a type this),

What another person, or group of people, think about me has no bearing WHATSOEVER on who I am as a person (in business or in life). What I think about ME is what actually matters.

Yes, I believe in great customer service. Yes I believe in correcting mistakes and making things right. Yes I believe that others’ have a right to their opinions about me, but in the end, it’s me that matters most.

And I am going to choose not to let you burst my bubble, as long as you promise not to let me burst yours.

PS-That ranty email person…they’re still on the list. Didn’t even bother to unsubscribe. That’s how I know…it’s not about me.

So Blessings, Ranty Person. I am sending you loving energy. Thank you for pointing out my error and my human-ness. I appreciate it. In peace, love and harmony,

Kim