By: Kimberly Englot

Worry & Guilt are two negative thoughts that everyone deals with. It is important to recognize that they are toxic thoughts and causing you to miss your life. Let me explain.

Your body is always in the present moment. It has no choice. Your mind, on the otherhand, can travel back in time and into the future. When your mind is not in the current moment, you are missing out on life because life only happens NOW. When you worry, your mind is in the future. You’re thinking about “what if” and dreaming up stories that may or may not come true. Think about it, though. If your body is here now, but you’re worrying about something that might happen in an hour, or next week, or 20 years down the road can your body actually do anything about it? No it can’t. Assuming that you have done everything you possibly can to prevent things from occurring you have to let go of your false sense of control for everything else. You can only control you and your responses to events. The idea that you can control external circumstances (especially by worrying) is a false sense of security that you need to quash immediately because it is keeping you from living right now.

Guilt is the exact same issue, only occurs when your mind travels to the past. You feel guilty about the fight you had with your husband, best friend, mom, whomever. You feel guilty for having to work and dropping your baby off at daycare. You feel guilty about not working and staying home to raise the kids. You feel guilty for saying no to volunterring on some project you didn’t really want to do, or you feel guilty for wanting more time for yourself! Guilt is everywhere. Again, it is something that you are putting on yourself.  Don’t let your inner critic tell you that you should be feeling guilty for some reason or another. Feeling guilty doesn’t change the circumstances. They’ve already occurred. All you can do it grab the present moment and get the most out of it1

Life is lived NOW. Don’t look up in 20 years and wonder where life went.

Here are a few tips:

3. Is it this thought rational?

4. Is it something I can fix or prevent?

5. If you have already done everything you can, it is out of your hands. There is not point in letting guilt and worry steal your life from you.

6. If all else fails remember this one thought:

“No one put you in charge of the world.”

We always tend to fulill our own expectations of ourselves.”

Brian Tracy Assuming that this quote is true (and according to Brian Tracy, and Kimberly Englot  ) it is true, what destiny track are you on? When was the last time you actually sat down and thought about your life purpose and if you were even close to living your dream life? It might be time to sit down and reassess your life, your purpose and your goals. Goals are not scary, so don’t be afraid of them. Set something reasonable and then stretch yourself just a little bit farther. The key is to get started working towards it. If you find that it might have been a little too unreasonable, or too easy, give yourself permission to change it. A goal is not a set in stone thing! It’s meant to be fluid and change. Get your goals in order and do something everyday to get yourself closer to it! With this comes satisfaction and confidence that goes with all achievements! Before you know it, you’ll have changed your destiny path to one that truly reflects you!

20 “Permits” You Deserve
I am under the impression that most people do not allow themselves these simple principles. I know that until recently, I didn’t either. I think it’s very important to shed some light on 20 permits that you need to allow in your life. Let go of the idea that you’re being selfish. Think of it as being self-ish! Many of these permits are familiar, but being an adult and the responsibilities that go along with that move in and take over our common sense! Take a few minutes to go through this list. How many of these do you give yourself permission for on a regular basis? Take away your inner critic’s power! GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO:
1. LET GO OF “OBLIGATIONS.” If you don’t absolutely love it, consider letting it go!
2. SAY NO! Every yes you say to something, is a NO you are saying to your family.
3. CHANGE YOUR MIND. Circumstances change, so do moods, feelings, impressions, ideas and people!
4. REASSESS YOUR GOALS, PASSIONS AND DREAMS. As you change, so should your “plan.”
5. QUESTIONS OTHERS. You have every right to make up your own mind and not just follow along, especially if it doesn’t feel right for you.
6. HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION. Don’t let others dissuade you or bully you! You are allowed to think whatever you want, and so are they.
7. TAKE TIME OFF. Honestly, the world will not implode because you took a break! Take time to recharge and you’ll function at your peak afterwards.
8. MAKE MISTAKES. Life would be pretty boring if you were perfect, not to mention how much others would dislike you because they felt inferior!
9. SLEEP IN. Rest is important, schedule a day where you can sleep in if you want to.
10. LET “IT” GO. Dragging old resentments and anger will only hurt you.
11. HAVE “ME” TIME. Having at least one thing that is just for you will go a long way to improve your life.
12. BE GRATEFUL OF WHAT YOU DO HAVE. Getting stuck in a cycle of I’ll be happy when… keeps you from being happy, EVER. Look around and see how wonderful your life is now!
13. SUCCEED. Sometime you get in your own way! Fear of failure is less of a factor than fear of success in most cases.
14. DREAM BIG! Small dreams keep you safe, and small! So dream big because even if you don’t fully succeed, you’ll be much farther ahead.
15. CELEBRATE “SMALL” STUFF. This puts in your mind how grateful you are for what is in your life. Success is success, not matter how small! Treat it with the respect it deserves.
16. FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. It’s not bragging or boasting or being arrogant to be proud of who you are.
17. FEEL EMOTIONS (EVEN NEGATIVE ONES LIKE FEAR & ANGER). To ignore emotions only gives them more power. Acknowledge them and they’ll disappear much quicker.
18. CRY. Again, trying not to only makes it worse! Crying is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of being sympathetic and caring, not to mention a release.
19. FORGIVE. “Holding anger & resentment towards another is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill your enemy.” Forgiveness is for you, not the other person.
20. REWARD YOURSELF. When you reach a milestone, reward yourself. While creating your plan, decide how you’re going to reward yourself once each big goal has been reached.

For the expanded version of this article, please go to www.kimberlyenglot.com/resources.