The How of Happiness: 10 Actions to Get You Started
If you studied the happiest people in the world, you would find commonalities among all of them. They view difficult circumstances differently than others. They worry less, feel guilty less and trust more. Happiness is learned, but like a muscle, you need to work it out. Here are 10 actions that you can take today, to start exercising your happiness muscles.
1.Let go of obligations
Sometimes you continue to do things just because you’ve always done them. This doesn’t mean that you have to continue to do them. What are you holding onto that you really resent? Let it go.
2. Say No
Say no when you mean no. Often you get into a habit of saying yes, because you always say yes, and then you later regret it. Set the intention to be aware of the things you’re agreeing too, and make sure that they align with what you want in life. If you absolutely must say yes to something you’re not thrilled about, change your perspective on it.
3.Change your mind
Sometimes circumstances change, impressions change, and people change. This is okay. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago, why do you have to stick with the same decisions? If you wish to switch directions in your life, give yourself permission to change your mind.
4. Question others
You are not a bad person for not agreeing with everyone, some people might just “set off” your intuition. Listen to that gut feeling. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t try to force it.
5. Have your own opinion
That intuition is very important! Like in the above action, having your opinion is very important, it is what sets you apart from everyone else. You can agree with others, or disagree with them, as long as you have a very clear reason as to WHY you agree or disagree.
6. Make mistakes
Learning is growing, and you can’t learn if you’re perfect. Change your perspective on failure. Failure is not a bad thing, it gives you the opportunity to relax, try new things out, test yourself a bit. If you are perfect, you are not living up to your true potential. The more successful you are, the more mistakes you make.
7. Let “it” go
Just release whatever you’re holding on to. Whether a grudge, a relationships, a job or a dream, if it’s causing you pain or holding you back in life, you need to release it. There are many different methods to doing this, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), the Sedona Method and The Work are three well-known methods.
8. Love Yourself
This might be the hardest of all these actions, but it is also the most important. When you love yourself, all the other happiness actions follow. Look in the mirror daily and actually see the person looking back at you. Don’t judge her, just let her know you love and accept her. You are doing the best you can, at any given moment.
9. Seek a new story
Reassess that story you’ve been telling yourself. Is it true? Are you really a victim, simply not control of your situation at all? Can you really not do anything to change, because of something that happened in your past? Is bad luck the main factor in why you’re unhappy right now? Really? Change that story. Feature an empowered, happy and successful person who doesn’t let the past dictate the future.
10. Jump into the fear
This is difficult, there are times where you must calculate risks and there are times where you just have to jump right in without thinking too much. Your intuition will be key in this. I know that in my own life, any time I’ve been really excited about something, it’s come with fear. Are there opportunities in life that have you excited? Do you see greater potential for yourself, but let fear stop you? Don’t let that fear hold you back, find a way around it.
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Those are just 10 steps to get you started. Being happy doesn’t mean you are never afraid, or angry, or frustrated. It means you have a resilience and a trust that others don’t, and that is something you can learn. This can be overwhelming and hard to deal with alone. If you are currently dreaming of changing careers, find love, or making a big change in your life, you’ll want to join me for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover, where I’m covering in detail exactly what to look out for AND how to become a happy person. It’s FREE and you can sign up at http://kimberlyenglot.com/hhteleseminar. About the Author: Kimberly Englot teaches success-driven women how to create the life vision they crave, have the courage to pursue it and live it from a purely authentic place so they can enjoy all the happiness, freedom and success they deserve. Kimberly is the founder of the Center of Authentic Self Development. Learn more about her programs and gain access to FREE coaching, inspiration & advice at: http://www.kimberlyenglot.com. |
The How of Happiness: 3 Easy Actions
The How of Happiness: 3 Easy Actions
Find the full article here: http://kimberlyenglot.com/the-how-of-happiness/
Creating Your Million Dollar Story
Your Million Dollar Story doesn’t have to have anything to do with money. In fact, if you want to, you can live in a log cabin in the woods with your dog, writing romance novels…that would be considered a Million Dollar Story. In my Shine Your Inner Light life vision kit (to be released in May) I go into detail on how to craft a Million Dollar Story suited to you. I cover a few things quickly in this video, but also check out this week’s Authentic Self Expression radio if you want more information.
What do you think?
Remember to listen live on February 24, at 4:30 pm CST to hear more details on exactly how to create the Million Dollar mindset! http://blogtalkradio.com/authentic-self
Frienemies, do you have one?
According to the first definition on http://urbandictionary.com: A “toxic” person who poses as a friend but subconsciously or consciously wishes you harm.
Couldn’t have written it better myself.
A “frienemy” (friend- enemy) is a type of toxic person. And you have no room for these people in your authentic life. So this post will reveal all of the classic signs of a frienemy, so that you’re aware if you have one! I’ll cover the basics of what to do if you have a Frienemy on this weeks radio show, and I’m going into details in the Master LIFE CLEANSE starting in March.
Sign #1: You dread calling her if you have good news!
Congratulations are in order! You have a new job, just got engaged or are expecting a baby. You can’t wait to tell everyone…except one person. You dread calling her because she will find a way to “rain on your parade” (pardon the cliche) and make the happy occasion not so happy. Whether she starts in on why the timing isn’t great, or about how your life is always so great and the fact that you’re lucky while her life sucks, she leaves you feeling sorry for her. You also end up resenting her for not being happy for you.
Sign #2: After spending time with her you feel worse.
It’s time for the monthly get together with your best frienemy. You’re feeling optimistic, good things are happening for you and you can’t wait to hear all about her new boyfriend! It’s been a month and lots can happen! You’re really excited to see her. Nothing like a wonderful afternoon spent talking with a good friend! You meet her at the coffee shop, order a latte and sit in the comfy chairs to start catching up. After an hour your smile is gone, along with your energy and your bouncy outlook on life. It’s one thing to support someone in a time of need, another thing to always be supporting one person because she’s ALWAYS in need. Her boyfriend broke up with her, she hates her job and she got a parking ticket. When you finally get around to talking about you, you don’t even feel like sharing anything with her. By the end of the visit you slink back to your car feeling like you need to take a long nap…so much for good vibes today.
Sign #3: You’ve been friends for a really long time and now you can’t remember why.
I had a client send me an email. She was desperate because she had a big event coming up and one person was ruining it for her. This was a momentous occasion! An engagement only happens once (hopefully). The frienemy was so excited that she didn’t even mind that she wasn’t going to be the maid-of-honor! Except that she decided to take over the planning of the bridal shower and the girls-night-out party. The resentment and jealousy became obvious when my client learned that the “friend” had been spinning tales, getting in between people, and bad mouthing almost everyone. WOW! What to do?
“We’ve been friends forever! I can’t imagine my bridal shower without her.”
“How fun is it going to be with everyone fighting, or no one speaking?” I asked her. “Sounds like you have a frienemy…”
My client decided that this time of her life, the engagement and everything leading up to the honeymoon, was precious and that this friend needed to be dealt with. Looking back she said that things have felt off for a long time, she just didn’t want to admit it.
If you have a friend whose been in your life for a long time but you just don’t have a connection anymore, don’t feel bad. People grow and change, relationships should too.
Sign #4: You become someone you don’t like when you’re with her (complaining, whining, being negative or judgmental).
You’re in a great mood. Can’t wait to talk to your office friend Jenny about the latest gossip going around the office. You’re feeling really good, it’s been a good day. You got everything you wanted accomplished and you deserve a good 15 minute coffee break. Sitting down with her, it turns into a 20 minute complain-fest. By the end of it, you hate your job, the company and anyone that dares to look at you. What’s changed? Your energy patterns have, and you became the negative person that you usually try to avoid!
Those are just a few of the signs that you have a potential Frienemy. It’s not necessarily her fault, she might not be aware of it. And some environments bring out the worst in otherwise great people. Once you’re aware of the effect of these friends, it’s important to guard yourself.
I go into more detail on the types of toxic people and give you some tips for how to deal with them on Authentic Self Expressions this week (4:30 pm CST on Wednesday, February 10, 2010). If you need more help for the toxic relationships in your life, join us for the Master LIFE CLEANSE where we talk in great detail about Toxic People and how to protect yourself from them (and what to do if YOU ARE the toxic person in the relationship!). Learn more about that at http://themasterlifecleanse.com
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
Grass is Always Greener Syndrome
This is part of the big, bad, ugly limiting belief family.
Except that it doesn’t look like a limiting belief, which makes it hard to recognize.
I mean, you’d think that “not settling” and being cautious was a good thing, right?
Right.
Except that sometimes your cowering ego (and by You, I really mean ME) will trick you into thinking that by proceeding you’re settling.
This makes more sense as a true life example.
January has been a tiny bit rocky for me. Nothing catastrophic, or even traumatic, but I seem to be finding excuses to Not Do what I’m “supposed” to be doing.
I listened to my Authentic Self.
She said take a Facebook Break (Oh, and ditch the format of a program that wasn’t working!). Done and done.
But there was still something bugging me, then WAM! Like running into a boulder, I felt it. You know that feeling from when you were a kid and you fell off your bike and had the wind knocked out of you (or maybe that was just me, as a clumsy kid who rode too fast).
It came on fast, but it was gripping!
I was going along, slowly and cautiously. Which is actually quite unlike me. I deal with limiting beliefs A LOT, both in myself and my clients. My process involves acknowledging them, and either letting them be or doing the exact thing I’m afraid of.
Well, then I had a mini-troll. Leaving out details, she told me that I was harming the coaching profession by not educating myself as a coach.
Excuse me?
No where have I claimed to be a “certified” coach. I don’t need to be with my background. It’s in the cards, but I have other things to do.
I don’t think I’ve harmed anyone. Not intentionally. My mission is to spread love, compassion, strength and growth. I also think (and have been told by MANY!) that having a B.A in Psychology and a background in educational psychology, that I know a thing or two about how our brains work, as well as cognitive theory, and all that other stuff.
My ego flared up, and she hurt me, but in a matter of hours I was fine again.
Or so I thought.
What happened is that she brought up my most ugliest limiting belief: You’re not good enough.
I’ve suffered from that one since grade school. (Getting a little revealing here, but that’s part of being authentic. Can’t just talk the talk…gotta walk it too!)
I recognized it, and sought the support needed to deal with it. (HELLO! Best Friend, and Biz Coach….done and dealt with. Or so I thought.)
It wasn’t quite dealt with yet. It was that exact belief that caused: Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome.
When you don’t feel like you’re enough…you’re constantly seeking outwards to find it. Programs, books, coaches…those are all good as long as you recognize the fact that YOU are perfect the way you are right now. But it’s a double edged sword, because you might be confronted with exactly what you need and be too afraid to jump on the opportunity. It happens ALL THE TIME!
Just like that! I realized that ms. mini troll was deflecting her own failure as a coach on me, and that in fact I am good enough…and I have loads of clients and testimonials to prove it.
I’ll finally get to the point. This insignificant person in my life (I have never heard of her before, and I will never again), had the ability to flare up that limiting belief and then turn it into something that nearly caused me to make a huge mistake: Doubt myself.
I began to doubt the decision I made to enter a high end mastermind group (we’re talkin’ 5 figure quality).
To the normal person, this does sound crazy (who pays that much to get coached? The answer: successful people who want action and results FAST!).
BUT because I had this limiting belief, I had a fear that by entering into this one program (and taking on the monthly payments of it) I was cutting off my ability to do other programs. See…grass is always greener.
When talking to the coach about it, I even used the term “Afraid to put all of my financial eggs in one basket.”
Image courtesy of Owais Khan http://www.itvlive.blogspot.com
Did you notice the limited (and lack) language I used. And I was aware of it! (but so confused I could think straight any more)
So I set the intention last night to ask my authentic self to give me the answer, in a clear, loving way so that there was no doubt in my mind around what I should do (enter the mastermind or not).
I got my answer loud and clear this morning, and put the down payment through.
And the truth is, besides clearing out another layer of that nasty limiting belief and exposing more light on it, I’ve also showed the Universe how much faith I have in myself, and the fact that Yes, I do practice what I preach, thank you very much!
- The Universe is abundant. There is no such think as lack.
- I am an awesome human being who deserves to be happy, just because. (Same goes for YOU!)
- Money is just energy.
- Energy is always flowing
- Therefore, money is always flowing (assuming I don’t cut it off with fear and lack mentality).
Another truth…I went through a similar fear when hiring my business coach for the first time (as well as buying my house, paying down my student loan and buying my car). And yet, I have never ever lacked money. Not since I started working. Everything has always been paid for. Just goes to show you that when you stretch…the Universe fills in the gaps.
So there you go. My version of the Grass is Always Greener Syndrome, how the fear of settling nearly cost me a year in business growth, and how I over came it. I have no idea what the point of this post is supposed to be, other than to share with you my authentic self.
Maybe it’s supposed to help you grow, maybe you’ll start to feel that you’re not alone! I hope it does at least one of those.
My New Years Makeover
If you read my last blog post, you know that last week I went through a transformation. I was in panic/self mode crisis for all of 48 hours, after pushing down my authentic self for nearly a month. All is good now. My energy and zest have returned and I’m heading full force with a new project. Actually, it’s not new, it’s old and it’s getting a “Makeover.”
The start of a new year is the most common time for makeovers. It’s fresh, it’s new, it feels like new energy comes breezing over you. But usually after a few weeks, it feels old and stale and not so great. (I think something like 93% of people give up on their resolutions by Valentines Day…don’t quote me on the specifics, though).
You realize that it doesn’t have to be that way, though, right? I mean, there was a time when I too made resolutions (lose 10 lbs, exercise more, each more broccoli, be nicer to my sister). But now that I think about it, I haven’t done it formally in years. Okay, I’m not old enough to talk like that, maybe 2 years (instead of sounding like it’s been 10 years).
Don’t get me wrong, I have goals. Lots of goals, in fact, daily I come up with new ideas and new avenues I want to pursue. BUT, I’m the kind of person that if I were to make them all “serious” like a New Years Resolutions, I’d rebel.
This is strange because I’m not a rebellious person. Actually, I’m the opposite. I’m a quiet, think before you leap, stick to the rules, kinda gal. But I don’t like to be tied down and I’m sort of a commitment phobe (again, a paradox I cannot explain for someone who married her high school sweetheart and lives happily in the suburbs). I think my issue is with the naming of things. New Year Resolutions…it just sounds ominous. I’m playing semantics here, but call them Life Vision Statements and I’m all over it.
Back to the purpose of this post…Makeovers. So New Years Resolutions, Makeovers, Life Visions are all the same thing. It’s saying to yourself and the world, “I’m ready to make a different choice in my life so that things will get better.”
My New Years Resolutions/Life Vision Statements/Makeover:
- Work less. Work out more. (I enjoy exercise…after the fact. And like most things in my life, I get really enthusiastic about it until it gets boring. Then I need to take a break or move on. I like flow yoga. I hate Pilates (GASP) but I like how flexible and strong I feel after. I like running, only after I’ve been doing it a while and can run longer than 5 minutes at a time. AND Yes, I’m running the same 10k race with my DH this year. Need that goal to make me actually commit and exercise frequently)
- Work less. Watch more TV. (I’ve been married for 3.5 years, and we’re at the point where mid-week, TV time is Quality Time. This means I might have to leave my Twitter and Facebook Friends before the regulatory 9pm. Maybe I’ll only work until 7pm, 3 days a week. One of those days must be Thursday, because FRINGE is one of my favourite shows.)
- Cook more. I like to cook, I just hate cleaning up. And I’m not lucky enough to have a “the cook doesn’t clean” rule in my house. I cook, I clean and I’m okay with it….because I’m a perfectionist who chooses peace in the marriage over a dirty kitchen and a cranky husband. (Yes, he is spoiled…and so am I)
- Spend more time with face-to-face friends and family. I LOVE my social media friends. I really do! Can’t believe how many awesome people I get to engage with every day. BUT, sometimes you just need a hug from your mom or best friend. Neither of which live near me. Which means I need to make more of an effort to travel.
- Date my husband. On some of those nights where I’m not working past 7pm, I would like to date the tall handsome guy living in my house. Maybe dinner and a movie other than the obligatory Anniversary date…which we usually forgo because I’m a better cook than what we can get in any restaurant around here, and we’re not really “movie” people.
- Wear perfume. I’m not a perfume girl. BUT I did buy some I love (actually, I think it’s called LOVE), and I’m telling you, it changes everything about you! Put a little perfume on and see how it changes your attitude. How can you not feel like a sexy bombshell when you’re smelling good?
- Forget being responsible for 7 days. Time for some fun! We’re leaving frugality behind for one week this winter and going somewhere warm. Forget building a new garage or paying off the cars, we’re going on a trip. For most people this isn’t a big deal, but DH and I are “SAVERS”. BUT, we have decided that before we have to really settle down and become responsible adults (aka: have kids), we’re going to jet off to Mexico or Cuba or the Dominican Republic last minute (to save money, off course. ROFL) because we can. And I think this is a lesson that both of us need to learn…or maybe I’m just telling myself that.
I could also list the regulars like lose 10 lbs, double my business, run a marathon and write a book, but I have already done those things in previous years…so why do them again? I’ll focus my energy on things I TRULY want to change (focusing on my true priorities) and I probably will lose 10 lbs, double my business, run a marathon and write a book.
SO, I’m reaching the point of this post. WHAT are your true priorities? Do you need to makeover your New Years Resolutions, or are they the same old ones that you just say because you feel like you should? Take them less seriously, focus on something that you honestly want to change (maybe just one thing to start) and have more fun with it. You’ll accomplish it easier, and it will be way more fun. Try it, and then let me know how it goes!
NOTE: I have been informed by a good friend of mine who says that runners (real runners, which I am not) don’t take kindly to people like me who think that a 10 km race is a “marathon.” He is a real runner, and I stand corrected. 
Start from New
So stop trying to fix what you already have, and just start from “new.” You can begin right now.
Time to get out your journal, or 2 pieces of paper.
On one sheet of paper write down everything that you are resentful, angry or feeling “blah” about. This is stuff you need to release (for your spirit’s sake). Forgiveness does wonders for your life (just remember that it isn’t about being okay with what happened or the other person. It is about allowing yourself to let it be.)
If you are really stuck, and want to release these feelings, try the Sedona Method (http://www.sedona.com/the-four-ways-of-releasing-surrender.aspx). It’s 4 simple questions that will help you to determine if you’re ready to let go, and then guide you through it.
Be patient with yourself. It might take some effort for you purge these feelings from your life.
Once you’re done that, write down everything you want for the new year. Be sure to stretch yourself a little so that you grow. Goals that scare you a little (in a good, excited kind of way) are perfect growth accelerators. Don’t worry about the HOW part quite yet, just have some fun writing things down.
That’s it. If you want a more advanced version, you can continue with the exercise by burning the first sheet with all of the things you want to release on it. As you burn it (safely in a fire place or pit, or some sort of vessel meant for fire), repeat your intention to release those things. Note how good you feel when the paper has burned.
With the goals for your 2010 year, create a Wish Box.
Find a box with a lid (like a photo box) that you can use just for you. I found one at the Dollar Store for $2.
Label it: My 2010 Wish Box
On the underside of the lid (so no one can see) write:
This or something better, from a place of love and caring, for the best circumstances for me and everyone involved. And so it is.
That statement sets up the intention that your goals/manifestations will come from a place of love, not destruction. (ie: walking onto a car lot, and easily negotiating the exact car you want vs getting rear ended and fighting with the insurance company for months before getting paid so you can buy your new car).
Then write each of your goals or wishes on a recipe card. Detail it out, as precisely as possible. Note how you want to feel when you receive it.
Place it in your wish box with the intention of receiving it easily, and by knowing exactly the next step you need to take to receive it.
Do that wish each of your goals, and then keep it up with any new goals you think of through out the year. Keep the box in an honored place (not somewhere with it just collected dust or dirt or can get damaged). Think of how you treat this box, as how you treat your goals. Cherish it and respect it.
I adapted the Wish Box exercise from a favorite of mine in the book:Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Jerry and Esther Hicks.
Release the old, cherish the new!
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
Secrets of Insiders Revealed
If you have 6 minutes and 43 seconds to spare, this video could really change your life!
More info on the amazing program at http://tinyurl.com/insiders2010.
PS — Budget-friendly monthly payment option is only until January 19th.
PPS — There is limited space, so you gotta act fast!
My Opinion Matters Most
You might think that sounds egotistical of me. But here is the thing, when it comes to me: my thoughts, my actions, my choices…my opinion is what matters most.
A bit of background for you as to how I came about this revelation:
I grew up in a happy environment. Did well in school. Always helping others. Blah, blah, blah…but I really relied on others approval as a guiding system.
- Do my homework, get 90%…teacher happy, Kim happy!
- Home before curfew…mom happy, Kim happy!
- Babysit at last minute even though I already had plans….neighbor happy, Kim not happy.
WAIT! Something is wrong here. When did I start relying on others to make me happy? That is not fair, to me or them, and it gives a way my power.
Fast forward a bit and I’m discovering my authentic self. This was just before I started my business. I suddenly got it one day; I had to be happy first, because then I’m more generous with time and money, and I’m nicer to be around…and things just flow better. So I started to do that. Make myself happy.
Fast forward a couple more years. I finally understand (with my brain) that not everyone is going to like my “stuff.” In fact, generally speaking about 50% of people will think I’m just full of cr@p.
“BUT I’m not used to that! People always like me!” I told myself, alarmed!
Yep, it was a hard reality to learn. But everywhere I turned that is exactly what people were telling me, “gotta toughen up.”
Then I learned more about attraction marketing (I’m talking about business again here) and how to ensure that only people who like what you’re doing and are at least moderately interested in what you have to say, will sign up, buy your stuff, or follow you.
So I limited the amount of negativity in my life by learning how to do that.
Photo from http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1158072
I just got one. It had to do with an email I just sent out. The person pointed out a mistake and then went on to basically tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing and that I should learn a thing or two before I bother them again. I’ve changed some details (in case this person actually does read my blogs), but my heart stopped and my stomach left my body.
I got all flustered and started to shake…then the stories started,
“I should have checked that first. People are going to think I’m an idiot. How could I make such a silly error!”
Then I researched the problem, and it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing was actually wrong, I made a simply mechanical error. That’s it.
So my fault, yes, but worth a ranty email? No.
In fact this person wasn’t even ranting at me. Maybe their in box is full and I was just the tipping point. Maybe they just had a fight with someone, got stuck in traffic, got fired, or was summoned for jury duty. Whatever it was, it wasn’t about me.
That’s when I really got it! (and it’s still sinking in as a type this),
What another person, or group of people, think about me has no bearing WHATSOEVER on who I am as a person (in business or in life). What I think about ME is what actually matters.
Photo from http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1121685
Yes, I believe in great customer service. Yes I believe in correcting mistakes and making things right. Yes I believe that others’ have a right to their opinions about me, but in the end, it’s me that matters most.
And I am going to choose not to let you burst my bubble, as long as you promise not to let me burst yours.
PS-That ranty email person…they’re still on the list. Didn’t even bother to unsubscribe. That’s how I know…it’s not about me.
So Blessings, Ranty Person. I am sending you loving energy. Thank you for pointing out my error and my human-ness. I appreciate it. In peace, love and harmony,
Kim 
God’s Instinct
I was on the massage table getting the knots worked out of my spine a couple of days ago and I was obviously NOT in the moment because when I left my therapists, I had a blog mapped out.
I have not idea what got me thinking about this in the first place, I’m kinda crazy that way. But I came up with my version of the difference between Intuition, Ego and Instinct. To help me explain it better (and maybe b/c I’m just a little nerdy), I even created my version of Maslow’s Triangle. Well, his had to do with basic needs. Mine is similar but it explains the hierarchy of the Self.
Think of the triangle as you. It is you in your entirety.
The very basic, animal part of you is Instinct. It reacts quickly and responds to fear, stress and any strong emotion if you let it. Think, “fight or flight.” A lot of this has been worked out of us to make us civilized, so it doesn’t take up very much room any more.
The main part of us (or maybe it’s just me?) is the Ego. This is what the average person uses all day, every day. This is the “human” part. It is how we think, compare, remember…all of those kinds of things. It helps us solve problems rationally. It also takes things personally, like when Aunt Clara told you that the sweater you were wearing made you look like your mother.
The Ego is where we get stuck when we assume things, or when we spend a lot of time feeling guilt, worry, or shame. Although sometimes you might feel anger or love here too. It all depends. (The EGO is not necessarily bad! It is required to help us distinguish “me” from “you.” Just want to put that out there…)
The Intuition (or Authentic Self, as I like to call it. You can call it spirit, soul, Source, Universe, God, inner wisdom etc…) is the Highest Self. It doesn’t take up a lot of room, and it is the hardest to access because it’s fairly quiet. I like to think of the intuition as the direct connection to God, or “God’s Instincts.” Intuition is a whisper. You might only hear it once, or you might have a nagging feeling that doesn’t go away. You might look back at a situation and see your intuition warning your clearly, and yet you ignored it. Why? Because the Ego is louder, stronger and likes to get its’ way. So it will try to butt in every time. Take time to get to know your intuition.
I have a quick exercise, if you’re interested.
It takes about 15 minutes of pure, quiet and uninterrupted time. It’s worth it.
Grab a quiet, comfortable place where people will not bug you. And then just sit. Close your eyes. Or not. Then just observe your thoughts. They probably look something like, “this is stupid. I have better things to be doing. Did I remember to take the roast out of the freezer? Is that pot-luck next week or the week after? Should I apologize to my sister, or was the argument her fault…I hate giving in, but someone has to be the bigger women…..” And round and round your thoughts will go. I have a busy brain so I can completely understand.
Just let the thoughts be. Think them, but don’t attack yourself for having them. Some might call this meditation. You might not be great at it, at first, but with practice (see last Wednesdays blog) it will get easier. After a while you will be able to differentiate the difference between your intuition and your ego.
There are tonnes of variations of this exercise out there. A favorite of mine is what Martha Beck calls “Doing nothing” in her book The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life
If you are interested in learning even more about this topic, check out this program.
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? That’s fine as long as you don’t alter it in any way and include the following:
Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs will teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.
