I am NOT my Car…Getting Over Attachments
I originally wrote this for a guest blog post 2 years ago. I felt the need to re-share it this week.
In these current economic times, I feel that it is particularly important for people to remember that their possessions do not reflect who they are as human beings. This is a story to help us all remember who we really are inside.
About a year ago, my husband and I were grocery shopping. We pulled into the lot, and parked near a very interesting vehicle.
It was a beat-up, black, sub-compact car (similar to an old VW Rabbit, but I don’t know what the make actually was) that had writing all over it! In white (paint or marker, I’m not sure) it had things like, “I am not my car,” “Over 300,000 km and still going strong,” and “My possessions do not define me!” I looked at the rusty, dented car as I walked by and laughed thinking, “They must have a lot of courage to drive that thing around town,” and completely missing the point.
This beat-up little car started to really get to me; I started to think about my own car. It was getting old, a little rusty and I was often embarrassed to drive it – especially when I knew I’d be parking it beside some of my friends’ shiny brand new cars.
I had a good job, it’s not like I couldn’t afford a better car, but my husband and I thought that we’d pay down some other debt and built up our savings before we would get something newer. Telling myself that I was “responsible and pragmatic” about my car-situation didn’t always make me feel better parking beside a brand-new SUV but I pretended that I was okay with it.
After seeing this car everything hit home! “That’s right! I am NOT my car,” I said firmly to myself a couple days later when I was feeling embarrassed about the state of my car. I began to ponder this further in my mind and apply it to other area’s of my life.
I am not my car, my job, my spouse, my family, my house, my neighborhood, my level of education, the clothes I wear, the friends I keep, the food I eat. So if those things are not me, then who am I?
Who I am can be defined more by what I am not, than by what I am. My identity lies in my authentic self; the self that is there even after I sell my car, or move to another country.
The point I am trying to make is: if I were to lose my possessions, or change them, would I still exist? And my answer to this is, yes. That is why I don’t entangle my identity with my physical environment. I drive a nicer car now, yes, but I’m still the same woman who drove the old car. I own a wonderful home in the suburbs, but this hasn’t changed me from who I was when I lived in an apartment in the city. And if I had to sell my home, or downgrade my car, I would still be the same person.
Not to say that people don’t change throughout their lives, but I am saying that people should not think they will change because of their things.
Possessions don’t make people. Life makes people. So let go of the idea that your designer handbag makes you a better you than if you had a cheap one. Do not fool yourself that driving a BMW means you’re happier than if you were driving a Chevy. Do not let these things define you because in the scary case where they leave and you have nothing left…you still exist, and everything important remains.
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:
Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.
It’s IAWBO’s Birthday! But YOU get the gifts
I’m so excited to share this with you! As you know, I LOVE Gina Bell! She has helped me through some major mindset issues with my own business, and is my fab co-pilot for my Master LIFE Cleanse program!
And now she’s gone and done something insane…so insane, I really had to be a part of it!
You’ve got to see the Virtual Birthday Gift Bag that is available through the International Association of Women in Business Online (IAWBO) 
More than 30 successful women (including me) have contributed their wisdom to this complimentary gift bag devoted to supporting – and accelerating – the success of women in business online like you.
And it’s SO much more than your average “give-away”…
Each item in the gift bag is an EXCLUSIVE resource not available for-free anywhere else and also includes access to a special interview series that will unfold on IAWBO’s blog… the How Does She Do It? 2.0 series. You’ve watched and you’ve wondered. Now you can KNOW what these women do to achieve MEGA success.
And, you’ll really appreciate this too…
You’ll get immediate access to all 30 gifts with just ONE opt-in! (You do not have to subscribe to any other list – unless you want to). No more having to sign up for 100 people’s ezines to get a crappy (pardon my French) freebie you can get anywhere. This is HIGH quality stuff!
Hurry — the virtual gift bag is valued over $1000 and is only available for a short time. You can see ALL the fantastic gifts included inside at IAWBO How 2010!
Kim
P.S. Once you register for your gift bag PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION to the thank you page where you’ll discover the MEGA secret we’ve been keeping. You’ve really got to see it to believe it!
Authentic In Business
Free Teleseminar on September 15, 2010
This Event Has Been Cancelled
@ 11:30 am Eastern / 10:30 am Central
9:30 am Mountain / 8:30 am Pacific
“Authentic In Business:
Letting the REAL You Shine Through!”
Join us!
My friend and colleague, Andrea Costantine is interviewing me on the topic of authenticity and business.We’re talking shop, but it will be fun, I promise.
If you’re a woman in business (or want to be), listen carefully because I’m sharing some important tips for keeping your identity and letting your authentic self show in a place that can feel scary and vulnerable: with your clients and customers!
You Will Learn:
- How a MAJOR break-down can lead to a major break-through!
- 3 Main Ways to identify your life purpose.
- Top 3 things women heart-centered entrepreneurs must focus on to keep their business’ from becoming work.
- Why the people you surround yourself with have the largest influence and how much money you make.
- How to keep Emotional Vampires at bay!
7 Ways Women Sabotage Their Success
Overview:
Knowing just one of these sabotagers can dramatically change your success mindset leading to more fun, more money, and more time! (Who doesn’t want more fun?)
You will be ready to take on the world after reading this Special Report! In under an hour, you can…
- Determine if you are living someone elses’ version of success…and correct it, if you are.
- Go from 0-60! Take note if you’re an “ideas” person who never actually does anything.
- Get out of the comfort zone…and start writing that book (or training for that marathon, or quit that dreaded job!)
Authenticity open up opportunities, unless you hold YOURSELF back!
All of the top experts are talking about the importance of being yourself in business and life, as a way to attract clients, customers, and prosperity. In this Special Report, I’ve explained everything you need to know (and do) to get that authentic self working for you!
You don’t have to hide anymore. You don’t have to let your underyling, self-limiting beliefs hold you down.
You Will Learn:
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The Top 7 ways that women hold themselves back from success (including how much money they make).
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Why every reason you have right now for not being as successful as you wish, is a big fat excuse. And what to do about it to kick success into high gear starting today.
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Lessons from a “Pick-Up Artist” and how rejection is actually worth its weight in gold when it comes to designing your business (and life!)
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Why most people who interpret The Secret as “wish and wait” will spend their lives wishing and waiting…and how the Law of Attraction really works.(In “normal” language!)
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The productivity secret Ali Brown, Tony Robbins and Bob Proctor have in common that make them rich and successful...and how you can apply this practice to your own life to achieve the same results! (This is potentially the most important difference between them and you, and simple to fix!)
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When and why hunger is very good for you, and a huge indicator of your true success potential. (If you don’t have it, you’re not going to make it.)
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How to turn someone who doesn’t believe in you into a major motivator (and how to turn a breakdown into a break-through!)
This is a quick special report to teach you to identify your limiting beliefs and move beyond them. If you don’t recognize them, they will forever hold you back. You can stay stuck, stay unhappy with the amount of money you’re bringing in, stay unhappy with your boss…or you can do something about it. You receive all of the essential information so that you can put your new mindset to work for you immediately.
Special Launch Price: $7. Valued at $30
Save until September 3, 2010
use coupon code: ezine2010
Be a woman of action! With clarity comes increased confidence and courage…and success is VERY ATTRACTED to those traits.
About the AuthorKimberly Englot is the Founder of the Center for Authentic Self Development and author of The Top 7 Ways Women Sabotage Their Success & Waste Their Lives.
She teaches success-driven women to identify and pursue their dreams and discover their authentic self, with courage and grace. After struggling for several years with, “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome she hit rock bottom, when her husband brought to her attention that she “hated everything,” and she instantly changed her life to become more aligned with love. She now knows what it means to be “happy for no reason”, and spends her time teaching other women how to do it, so they don’t have to feel the pain she felt.
Yes I’m Ready to STOP Sabotaging my success!
Only $7 for action-oriented ladies!
Save 76% until September 3rd
use coupon code: ezine2010
Earnings Disclaimer: Every effort has been made to accurately represent this special report and its potential. Please remember that each individual’s success depends on his or her background, dedication, desire and motivation. As with any business endeavor, there is no certain guarantee that you will earn any money.
The Only Person Holding YOU back…is you: 3 ways you get in your own way.
It sounds really harsh and shocking, and I want it to be that way. You are the person who is holding you back. There might be others contributing to the problem, but when it comes right down to it, you’re the one who lets them.
- You replace your instincts with someone else’s advice, and/or worry about what other people think. Bad, Bad, Bad idea! This is a case where fear is good…in the form of your intuition telling you not to listen. If you are constantly looking for outward advice/approval then you have lost your authentic voice! You are holding yourself back by not having confidence in yourself. This is simple enough to remedy. Start with baby steps. Say no (when you really want to). Listen to your body (it reacts physically when something feels off) and get back to the basics (look back at your life and count your blessing and all the things you have already accomplished!)
This is your life, you know how to run it! You don’t need someone else’s permission. - You are too attached to your “but” and have too many excuses.
One of my favorite saying is, “Get off your but!” That is, look at the excuses you’re using to hold yourself back. Easy to identify by the standard…”I’d love to do __________, BUT___________.” There is a well known theory out there: if you are hungry enough for something you’ll do what it takes to get it (no matter what the cost). I’m not saying that you should go about things in an unethical, illegal or immoral way, but check your “but” next time. Then ask yourself, is this but a true CAN’T or a WON’T. There is a huge difference. Won’t is very empowering. I means that this is something that you won’t do for whatever reason, and stating it makes you realize how often the can’t is actually a won’t. Give yourself permission to say, “I WON’T exercise tonight because CSI is on,” and you’ll be so much closer to living your truth! - You are focusing on the wrong things. Have you taken time to figure your goals “from the inside out?”
That is where true happiness lies! I wrote a blog on it recently. Think about this scenario (it makes your priorities very clear): if there were a fire or flood and I had 5 minutes to get out (or die) what would I make sure went with me? Most people say they’d grab their kids, pets, photo’s, maybe the odd heirloom. You aren’t going to be worrying about the Volvo or your designer purse. Looking at the inside-out perspective you can see that your family takes precedence over “things”…but are you living that way? You can say, “But I want money FOR my family. So they can have everything they want: nice clothes, iPods, travel.” But I bet, they’d rather see more of YOU then any of those things! Are you holding yourself back from happiness and wealth because your definition of happiness and wealth doesn’t actually ring true to you?
Think about those 3 ways. What is your true definition of success? What kind of excuses are you using, and how are they preventing you from living your authentic life? How are you letting someone else run the show called Your Life? Answer those questions and you will be light years ahead of the average person, who is content complaining about how things are, without actually doing anything to change them! You can also learn more way you are holding yourself back, and how to stop NOW, by becoming a Premium Member and joining us for the live call on Monday!
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:
Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.
