How to manage the Self Sabotage
Good Morning,
It’s time for my BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
The last few weeks I’ve immersed myself in my latest, top secret project. Although a few details have leaked out because those involved have been unable to keep it to themselves (I can’t really blame them!) today is the official announcement.
I’ve assembled some stellar ladies–those I have worked with or really, really admire…to help me bring some integrity, truth and REAL authenticity back into the business/coaching/online realm.
We’re getting real and vulnerable and sharing dirty details about fear, limiting beliefs and self sabotage. Read more
Trust your gut
If you know me, you know that I’m a bit of a paradox. I am quite the softy, liking things that are beautiful and warm and fuzzy. I’m also quite stubborn and can be ‘spunky’ as one friend put it (a polite way of saying I will call you on your ‘stuff’.) I am scientific, analytic and very into ‘how and why’ of life. So when I go into ‘softy’ mode, it can surprise people. I’m going into woo-woo land just a bit today, even though I’m against ‘fluff’, when it comes to trusting your gut and using your intuition (in business and in life) it’s not fluff…it’s just smart!
I’m reading ‘listen‘ by Lynn A. Robinson right now. It’s about trusting your gut in times of adversity, and it’s a great book. I’ve read lots of book on intuition, but this is definitely written for a ‘spunky’ softy like myself, who loves to ask ‘Why’ and ‘How.’
You are full of magic, and all the answers you need are within, if you know how to ask and what to look for.
Read more
What would you do if you found out you had 1 week to live?
Perhaps this topic is at the forefront of my mind because of the recent (and very unexpected) death of one of my closest friends in high school, or perhaps it’s due to watching “Life or Something Like It.” Regardless of the reason (I suspect a combination of both) it is something I am thinking about.
It is my experience that NOTHING makes you think about your own mortality like the death of someone you know. It’s especially scary when the person is your age. 
If I had one week to live, here is what I would do:
- Call each of my loved ones to tell them how much they mean to me.
- Visit my family.
- I’d then grab my husband and we’d go on the adventure of a life time. This would include a hot air balloon ride, staying in the most expensive hotel I could find (and jumping on the bed), visiting Niagara Falls, the Rocky Mountains and swimming in the ocean again.
Now that I’ve created my 1-Week-to-Live Bucket List, I’m wondering why I don’t do those things now.
Hmmmm, why DON’T I do those things now? Because I am human, and I take things for granted. And because of THAT, I have plenty of excuses. All of which come down to time and money.
And I’m a bit ashamed about the simplicity of my list, and the excuses I have for NOT doing #1 and #2. In fact, I think I will completely #1 with some of my loved ones tonight. It just seems like the least I could do, to not take life (and loved ones) for granted.
And so I pose this question to you…what would you do if you found out that you had 1 week left on earth? Would this put things into perspective for you? Would you immediately recognize what is important to you?
I’d love for you to comment below and tell me what you think. What would you do and what are you waiting for?
PS–Just talked to husband about hot air balloon ride. It’s in the works 
. I will provide pictures.
The Only Person Holding YOU back…is you: 3 ways you get in your own way.
It sounds really harsh and shocking, and I want it to be that way. You are the person who is holding you back. There might be others contributing to the problem, but when it comes right down to it, you’re the one who lets them.
- You replace your instincts with someone else’s advice, and/or worry about what other people think. Bad, Bad, Bad idea! This is a case where fear is good…in the form of your intuition telling you not to listen. If you are constantly looking for outward advice/approval then you have lost your authentic voice! You are holding yourself back by not having confidence in yourself. This is simple enough to remedy. Start with baby steps. Say no (when you really want to). Listen to your body (it reacts physically when something feels off) and get back to the basics (look back at your life and count your blessing and all the things you have already accomplished!)
This is your life, you know how to run it! You don’t need someone else’s permission. - You are too attached to your “but” and have too many excuses.
One of my favorite saying is, “Get off your but!” That is, look at the excuses you’re using to hold yourself back. Easy to identify by the standard…”I’d love to do __________, BUT___________.” There is a well known theory out there: if you are hungry enough for something you’ll do what it takes to get it (no matter what the cost). I’m not saying that you should go about things in an unethical, illegal or immoral way, but check your “but” next time. Then ask yourself, is this but a true CAN’T or a WON’T. There is a huge difference. Won’t is very empowering. I means that this is something that you won’t do for whatever reason, and stating it makes you realize how often the can’t is actually a won’t. Give yourself permission to say, “I WON’T exercise tonight because CSI is on,” and you’ll be so much closer to living your truth! - You are focusing on the wrong things. Have you taken time to figure your goals “from the inside out?”
That is where true happiness lies! I wrote a blog on it recently. Think about this scenario (it makes your priorities very clear): if there were a fire or flood and I had 5 minutes to get out (or die) what would I make sure went with me? Most people say they’d grab their kids, pets, photo’s, maybe the odd heirloom. You aren’t going to be worrying about the Volvo or your designer purse. Looking at the inside-out perspective you can see that your family takes precedence over “things”…but are you living that way? You can say, “But I want money FOR my family. So they can have everything they want: nice clothes, iPods, travel.” But I bet, they’d rather see more of YOU then any of those things! Are you holding yourself back from happiness and wealth because your definition of happiness and wealth doesn’t actually ring true to you?
Think about those 3 ways. What is your true definition of success? What kind of excuses are you using, and how are they preventing you from living your authentic life? How are you letting someone else run the show called Your Life? Answer those questions and you will be light years ahead of the average person, who is content complaining about how things are, without actually doing anything to change them! You can also learn more way you are holding yourself back, and how to stop NOW, by becoming a Premium Member and joining us for the live call on Monday!
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:
Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.
Identifying Self Sabotage part 3
Here is the third part of the 4 part Installments I promised.
Part one: “Self doubt and Limiting Beliefs”
Part two: “Fear/worry”
3. Shame/Guilt.
“I’m not worth it.” “I’m not a good person if I put myself first.”
They’re both the same thing and they’re both related to fear. You are telling yourself that you don’t deserve success, health, wealth unless everyone else around you has it too. You are trying to control everyone else’s happiness, which is impossible. What you focus on you get more of, so if you are trying to make everyone ELSE happy you will end up making them happy and you will be drained and overwhelmed.
Another example: You want more money. So you are focusing on having MORE money, which really means you don’t feel like you have enough. So you are actually focusing on NOT ENOUGH…which brings you situations where you feel lack and not enough. Make sense?
Guilt makes you feel selfish for wanting more. Guilt makes you put other people’s needs and wants ahead of your own. Guilt keeps you tired, old-looking and sick.
If you find yourself continually putting someone else first, you are sabotaging your success. If you can find the money to put your children in yet another art class or on a sports team, you can find the money to join a yoga retreat, just for you. Don’t let the guilt of not giving everything to everyone else prevent you from enjoying your own life.
Guilt is a HUGE waste of the present moment. And it’s a really bad habit (like paying for something over and over and over again). Pay once and let it go!!! It can be tempting to just not bother, after all, you’ve survived this long, right? But if you’re interested in thriving, not just surviving, if you need extra help identifying your limiting fears my Mindset Makeover will help.
Right now add the the Mindset Makeover to your cart for $147. Or choose the $30 5-Pay Option
The $30 5-pay option is for those of you who still have money concerns. (5 pays for this kind of product are unheard of, but I never said I followed the crowd ) but the 5-PAY is ONLY available until JULY 21, 2010. After that, you can no longer pay for it in installments. Learn more about this HERE.
I know you’re going to love this! Between the action guide (that covers the entire Master LIFE Cleanse program) and the 3 teleseminars you are going to flip at all the unique (and simple) ways you can identify your limiting beliefs and leave self sabotage FAR FAR behind you! Add it to your cart now, before you forget and get started on this process immediately!
