Do positive thinkers need to grow up and get real?
I had an outstanding day yesterday. One of the many things that made me so happy:
I bought a new printer a few days ago, and had to take it back. When I took it back to exchange it for one that didn’t jam up every time I tried to print, I actually was given money back. Yep, the printer had since gone on sale and I exchanged it for a new one, plus they gave me money in return! I felt so much better after 2 days of a stupid printer that didn’t work. NOTICE, that is all about my perspective on that outcome? (I could have been angry, yelled at the customer service agent, demanded my money back, went to another store and purchased a similar printer for more money. That is probably how I would have acted a few years ago.)
So, I had a good day. This morning I woke up to find someone had commented on one of my blog posts…YAY! I thought, I am uplifted whenever anyone takes the time to comment. But this was a TROLL. Yikes. Yuck. Ick. 
I sent the comment to the trash because I don’t need anyone smearing ME with THEIR “junk” but basically I was told that I was naive and “to grow up.” (The issue was a post I wrote about the power of positive, group thinking, comparing it to a Criss Angel episode I watched 6 months ago).
In the last 2 or 3 years I have discovered that (GASP) I feel better, happier, safer, freer when I believe that positive forces rule/fuel the world. I am happier when I CHOOSE to see the positive aspects of my life, and the examples in it. Do I believe everything anyone tells me? No. I am the first to check out www.Snopes.comwhenever I’m sent a crazy email. Do I believe everything that Criss Angel (a paid illusionist) does is pure and real? No, but at that point in my life I was searching for a sign, and I think I got one. Does that make me naive? Maybe in some people’s eyes.
I the end I am happy and my family is happy. What else matters? I am going to continue choosing to absorb the positive vibes of those around me, and deflect the negative ones. There is enough “junk” in this world, and I have my own to deal with, I don’t need yours! (And you don’t need mine).
Redefining Success
What does success mean to you?
I know that most people have a canned response. “Success means having lots of money, wearing expensive clothes, travelling around the world and driving a fancy car.” Notice that all of those things are external? They are all things that you “get” outside of yourself, and most of those things don’t make you happy for long.
Crazy idea…If your house were to burn down, what would you take? You’d take the photo’s, the babybooks, family pet…you wouldn’t head to the closet to get your favorite pair of shoes or that designer dress.
WHAT IF you defined success from the inside out?
So start this process with a quick exercise. What does success really mean to you? What do you want to do with your life? Write it down, not editing or worrying about others might think. Then look at the difference between what you say you want, and what you currently have. Create a “backward” map. That is, start where you want to be and map out a backward trail until you end up where you are now. Since you are where you are now, start there and take the next logical step to living a successful life.
Byron Katie–I’m too fat
A friend of mine shared these videos a couple of months ago and I resonated so strongly with them that I knew I had to share with you. Of course I forgot about them until recently when I realized that they were a perfect fit for my upcoming Happiness & Self Premium Membership call (these videos also go very nicely with several topics in my “Letting Go” Premium Series, starting in August.) I invite you to join us as we discuss self esteem, self love and self discovery on July 19! Learn more at http://kimberlyenglot.com/being-the-perfect-sized-you/
Talk about getting it…You are the perfect sized YOU!!!
If you are unhappy regarding your own physical appearance, take the time to watch these videos! Take to heart what Katie has to say. (Part 2 is my favorite–“You’re not too fat to be you…and in a perfect Universe, someone has to be you!” Love it!!!– but make sure you watch Part 1 first or it won’t make as much sense)
Byron Katie: I’m too fat. Parts 1 & 2
Your Daily Dose of Joy!
I’m on another happiness-theme kick, mainly because I am about to wrap up the third (of four) installment in my How to Be Happy series for the Premium Members.
All this happiness is good for my health and I am always looking for ways to share how I do it, with you! I can’t remember exactly what I was reading earlier this week, but something caught my eye and got me thinking about finding your joy!This is not the first I have written about joy. My blog, podcasts and articles are full of “how to be joyful” tips (and I wrote How to Live a Joyful Life specifically specifically for Aspire Magazine’s May/June “Joyful Life” Theme! Heck, my book that is scheduled to come out in December is titled “The Happiness Formula!” so I like to consider myself a carrier of joy to others.)
Here are 3 simple steps to help you add more joy into your daily life, so that you can feel peaceful, light and calm.
- Define Your Joy
My joy is probably not the same as your joy. Society leans on us to need certain things to be joyful, so you might think that you need to spend money and accumulate joy. This is not true. If you listen to your authentic self, and examine your true priorities you will easily find your Joy.
I had a client who thought her joy was with a certain boyfriend and in a certain joy. Although I could feel that this wasn’t the case for her, she was not ready to hear it. For several weeks I supported her as she discovered that her Joy had nothing to do with this man, and in fact, he was causing her pain and disrupting her Joy! She discovered her Joy was actually exercise, spending time with friends and taking good care of her spirit through reading and meditating.
I encourage you to take a few minutes and think about your life. Define what bring you lasting Joy. Create a list in a journal and… - Set Aside Time for Your Joy
You might be thinking that you don’t have time in your life to take long walks and meditate, and hey, if that isn’t your Joy, don’t do it! However, if your first thought to reading this is, “I don’t have time for this,” then you have a problem and you definitely need to set some time to discover your Joy because this is a major sign you’ve lost it!
There is no need to panic, you don’t need to spend 60 minutes in silence to feel joy (that’s why defining YOUR joy is so important). Start with 20 minutes per week. After a few weeks, add in another 2 minutes, and work your way up to 15 minutes a day (or more). I promise, when you start doing this, you won’t want to let it go. This time rejuvenates your spirit, and you will feel calm and secure, no matter what is going on around you. - Nourish Your Joy
This means take care of yourself when your struggling. Pull out that Joy List you wrote in step 1 and do some of them. I know when I feel stressed or start to panic, the first thing I do is ground myself…literally. I stand up, stretch and feel my feet on the floor. This brings me out of my head and into the reality that this is just a moment in time and it will pass. After that I might take my dog for a quick walk, or just step outside to breathe some fresh air. You could buy some flowers and admire them, open your favorite book to a random page and read the message there for you, email or call a friend, dance…whatever you need to do to reconnect with your spirit.
It doesn’t get much simpler than that. We like to make things complicated and get frustrated when simple things feel difficult. This is simple stuff. The hard part is taking the time out and making a priority to do it! It is like any new habit, it feels hard a first but with practice it becomes easier and soon it’s a part of your regular day and you don’t have to think twice.
Make a conscious effort to try it for a month and see how you feel. I bet you won’t want to go back!
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:
Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of The Center for Authentic Self Development. She is the courage you need to put yourself back on your priority list, without feeling guilty or selfish.
Use your powers for good
Guilt.
It’s a dirty word in my realm, and for the last few years I rarely let it enter my experience. I don’t feel guilty about saying no (or saying yes, to the odd guilty pleasure). I don’t feel guilty about doing something I love, and I don’t feel guilty about taking “me time” when I need it.
I’m not perfect, but for the most part, I’ve eliminated guilt in every area of my life.
There is a lot of guilt around getting rid of guilt! I address this deeper in my Master Life Cleanse program, but essential we treat guilt as the price we pay for doing what we want.
Which brings me to my main point of this blog post:
You cannot possibly feel bad enough (or guilty enough) for someone else, to make THEM happy in the long term. Others do not grow because you shrink.
An example is the best way to illustrate my point. I have a client who makes a lot of money doing what she loves, and she feels guilty! She feels guilty that there are people out there without jobs, and guilty that she has a lot of material things, while others have very few. She even feels guilty about feeling guilty because she knows it’s a waste of time! To combat this guilt, I showed her that her feeling guilty did nothing to improve the circumstances of her friends and family, and a light-bulb turned on for her.
She “got it,” and realized that she could improve their lives by living hers to the fullest and being happy!
A funny thing happens when you’re happy (and you release guilt)…people want to know why. They gravitate towards you because you are nice to be around, and they start to feel better.
You are no good to anyone playing small, or not living your life to the fullest. Use your powers for good, don’t stunt them.
A favorite saying of mine:
“Better to light a candle, than curse the darkness”
Romancing Sleep
I was asked to participate in another book launch for this book: Romancing Sleep. 
I didn’t read the entire book, but I read enough to know that this could be a valuable tool for anyone who is having problems sleeping, and if that is you, check it out. Sleep is so important to life. A good night’s sleep means energy, vitality, patience and zest! A bad night’s sleep means grouchiness, anger and a short fuse with your kids.
When you suffer from any sort of sleep disorder nothing else seems so important as a good night’s rest.
And even if you THINK you’re getting a restful sleep, studies show it’s probably NOT the sort of deep, DEEP sleep that can provide the greatest life-enhancing, age-reversing, and energy-boosting benefits.
Want the solution? Take a minute, use the link below to go to the website and get all the details for yourself.
http://www.romancingsleep.com/promo/
Romancing Sleep” is your guide to quickly and easily overcoming any number of emotional, environmental, nutritional, and other factors that commonly lead to a lack of sleep.
Life is in the simple things
I turned 28 on the weekend. I am getting closer to the Big 3-0, and I’m getting more teasing from family and friends around starting a family. (I tell them I already have a family, 1 dog, 1 cat…the perfect household).
I had such a great day and it made me realize how lucky I am to find joy in such simple things. My husband didn’t shower me in diamonds or jewelry. I didn’t get a traditional birthday gift at all, and yet, in my opinion it was the most perfect day ever.
It started at 6:30 am. We walked the dog, picked up mocha’s and walked home. We had breakfast overlooking the river. Then we had a blast going from specialty shoppe, to specialty shoppe picking out some amazing wine and cheese selections. (Zinfandel, Brie and French bread will win me over faster than emeralds or rubies any day!)
At then end of the day I said, “This was the best day ever!”
And Chris looked at me like I was insane, after all, we didn’t really do much. I just said, “Simple things are the best.” And I meant every word. The simple things create the memories. I now have a solid memory of walking our puppy, sipping coffee, and talking about the day ahead. It was peaceful (no one is up at that hour on a Saturday), the sun was shining. There was no wind, no clouds…it was perfect.
Breakfast was equally perfect and afterward we walked along the river bank. Stopped at a greenhouse, admired the beauty, and went on our shopping adventure.
Several years ago, I was after the “stuff.” I now know that’s because I had a hole that I was trying to fill. And I was filling it with junk. I’m lucky, at a relatively early age, I figured it out. But it’s never too late to dump the junk and move on; to figure out what really matters and take in life as it comes!
If you need a bit of inspiration, pre-register for my “Dump The Junk (& be happy)” eBook. Along with 9 other awesome women, I wrote a chapter on how I dumped my junk, what crossroads I had to reach first, and what I learned a long the way. It’s 96 pages of amazing motivation and it won’t cost you a penny. It’s FREE. Check it out if it sounds like something you’re interested in.
If life is hard, you’re doing it wrong
Thoughts on that title, anyone?
I have been doing a lot of reading for my upcoming Premium Call next week and one specific resource has me thinking and re-evaluating everything!
I’ve had this thought before
If life is hard, you’re doing it wrong.
In fact, I have a few acquaintances who continually complain and whine but don’t actually do anything to change it, and this is what I think when they start in on their story and try to suck my energy.
Yep, it’s a little callous, but isn’t it true? I mean, if the LoA is for real (and it is, at least in my life, and I’m not special) then it must be true.
We’re all handed different situations and circumstances. Some people are “luckier” that way than others, but you’ll find people in the worst situations that are relatively happy and some that are in the best situations that are suicidal. Which causes me to draw the conclusion:
Life is what you make it…if it’s hard, you’re doing it wrong.
I have a few suggestions to help you change from feeling “hard” to feeling “happy.” (Oh, and they only work if you actually do them, so don’t just read them and then complain that they didn’t work!)
- My favorite new way to turn my energy around is called a “Focus Wheel.” I recommend this process to clients like crazy! It is hard enough to explain over the phone, and nearly impossible to describe via a blog…so I’ll just send you to a video I found that does a good job of explaining it for me: Click HERE. It’s a simple way to change your perspective and take something that is creating resistance (aka uncomfortable, unhappy feelings) and focusing on what IS working. I love it!
- Take a break and have some fun! Sometimes life gets a little intense, that is when I take time out and do something fun. Lately this involves my dog, but it can mean calling a friend, watching a funny movie or working out. Kids and animals have this magical ability to make everything good again. Put the laundry down, grab your best friend and go for a walk. Reminisce about funny events from your past, it works wonders for your spirit!
- Breathe! When I get tense, my breath gets shallow. When I was counselling (in my previous life) I saw it in my students, too. In fact, I actually taught one to breathe properly and that alone changed her attitude completely. Think of it as a literal “breath of fresh air,” into your life. It’s moving old stale energy out, and bringing in new life. Take a few moments to breathe deeply and contemplate life. Maybe ponder the thought, “In 5 years will I remember this situations and will it matter?“
Those are just a few of things ways I instantly change my perspective when I’m thinking life is too hard. If those don’t work, you’ll have to dig a little deeper. Possibly you’re on the wrong path and your authentic self is trying to tell you something! Maybe you have too much “junk” in your life. Whatever it is, you have all the control in the world to change your perspective. If you need some support, grab my Authentic Self toolkit. It has some free stuff to help you get started.
Progress in Leaps & Bounds!
I am typing this blog post from my Hotel room, I’ve been up since 5 am mulling things over in my brain. Yoga didn’t calm me, but working did (strange how that is) and finally I just decided to get it all out in a blog post!
The reason I am in a hotel room? I’m on my first of two, Private Platinum VIP retreats with my business coach (I like to call her my best friend in biz) Gina Bell. We spend yesterday going over the next three months of my calendar and talking about things in the industry in general and specifically. It’s good to know that I’m on the right track, and I got a confidence boost. Gotta love a good coach!
So before I get ready for Day 2 and grab a much needed coffee, I wanted to share this quick video about the difference between wanting success and actually being successful! If you are interested in more info about coaching, go here (I’m especially joyful right now, you’ll see why in the post, and I’ve gone delusional with my coaching pricing).
Happy Happy Joy Joy! Spread happiness
I sent this out to my eZine list last night. But I had to REALLY share this great new (if you know me, you know that I don’t do anything half way!). So I’m announcing it on my blog too. (I think everyone has the right to be happy, and it’s the small things that add the most joy.)
Wednesday I found out news that I just HAD to share with the world!
My husband and I are expecting a new member of the Englot Family!
On Sunday, we are going to pick up our new, adopted puppy a Border Collie cross! I’ve 
been floating on air since I found out we were approved yesterday morning.
And of course, I spent a lot of time and money yesterday night at the local pet store trying to decide on which bed to buy her and what color of collar to get (Pink, or Blue with Sparkles? So hard to decide!). My husband had to intervene or we would have been there all night (I picked the pink one).
We haven’t decided on a name yet, we’re going to wait and see what suits her. Sasha, Misha, and Sammy are in the lead right now. What do you think? I think she looks like a Sasha or a Sammy.
Anyway, I’ve been sooooo happy the last 24 hours that I’ve gone slightly delirious. I am offering Happiness Booster Coaching for the first 10 people that book sessions, at the outrageous price of $147 for 60 minutes!) That’s a savings of over $100.
This is PERFECT for you if:
- You basically know what you need to be doing in your business, but you’re procrastinating because you feel overwhelmed, unsure or not confident. You just need a new, more experience perspective to provide some fresh insight and you’ll be off and running! We’ll get to the root of the procrastination so that you can excel in your business and create more products, programs and add more clients (which translates into more $$$).
- You want to make a change in your life (write that book, find that special someone or change careers) but you want to do it painlessly and fear, self-sabotage and limiting beliefs are holding you back! I have some exercises and questions for you to ask yourself so that you can INSTANTLY change your perspective and you can easily accomplish your 2010 goals in the time that is left this year.
- You have a specific “unhappiness” trigger (hate your job, constantly worried about money, stuck in a dead-end relationship). We will get to the bottom, the EXACT THOUGHT that is causing your pain and holding you back. When we find it, you’ll instantly change your perspective so that you can shift your energy and the good stuff starts to flow toward you!
An hour is more than enough time to accomplish this…as my Platinum Master LIFE Cleanse Clients know! (See Alesia’s Rave Review below).
Because I have limited space in my calendar, this Delirious with Happiness, Outrageous Happiness Booster price is limited to the first 10 people…first come, first serve. After that, the price goes up to the regular amount of $250 an hour.
An hour of time. Less than the cost of a designer handbag, nice leather shoes, a night out or more months wasted! What is your time worth?
Okay, this is supposed to be a quick, joy-filled message! I’ve got to go back to puppy planning now! Have a great night 
xoxo
Kim
P.S. Don’t risk regret at the end of this year that you did not act quick enough to get into my schedule. I only have limited space open for coaching clients!
Raving Reviews!
