James Arthur Ray was arrested a couple of days ago for the deaths of 3 people in one of his event in October. I’m not going to go into the details, but it was a spiritual quest where people experienced a sweat lodge. It involved a lot of high heat and humidity and some pretty bizarre, out-there stuff.

I like James Ray’s theory. I have no judgment on him as a human or a teacher. This is not an article of judgment, nor am I going to cover any kind of detail on the case. Just Google it if you want more info. I have sympathy for the families of those who died, I truly do. It was tragic. But this is not a post about his guilt or innocence.

Instead I want to use this example to underline the importance of Never EVER giving away your own power.

Know your authentic self. Listen to your gut and your intuition. When you do that it will never lead you astray.

There have been times in my life where I have not listened to my gut and regretted it. Nothing as extreme as the above example, but things that harmed me. There have also been times when I’ve refused to listen to an “authority” because my intuition said not to. And I’ve never regretted that.

Listen to your instincts. I have a favorite quote that seems especially powerful here:

“Do not believe anything because it is said by an authority, or if it  is said to come from angels, or from Gods, or from an inspired source.   Believe it only if you have explored it in your own heart and mind and body and found it to be true.  Work out your own path, through diligence.” – Gautama Buddha

Please don’t ever replace something I say, or anything you hear, read or are taught with your own inner knowing.

Sometimes you need to grow and stretch that comfort zone. That is important, BUT there is a difference between growth and disregard for your intuition.

I don’t have it down to a complete science (and don’t take this blog to be the “be all end all” of self help!) but these are some tips I use to help me decide if I should leap, do it and push myself and if I should turn around and run in the other direction.

There are two kinds of fear. Irrational and Rational and the key is to know which fear is affecting you.

Irrational Fear (usually over something that is really unlikely to ever happen) feel like excitement and fear rolled into one. It usually makes me jittery as the adrenaline flows. I envision pure and wonderful potential.

You  want to do it (whatever is making you afraid) but something is holding you back. You want the “consequences,” if you can call them that. You want the good results from it!

Example, You want to go back to school but what if you just end up more in debt? You want to go to Europe but you’re afraid the plane will crash. You want to go talk to that person but you’re afraid they’ll laugh at you.

Those types of things hold you back. How likely is it that you’ll end up worse after education? Assuming you did your research and have taken several potential scenarios into consideration, you can follow your gut on this and do it. It’s likely you’ll end up better off than if you didn’t go back.

Flying? Yes there is a small risk, but statistics show it’s less dangerous than driving and most of us do that every day. Does your fear out-weigh your excitement for Europe? Would you regret not going to Europe?

Talking to someone can be scary. But I always look at it this way,

A—people really don’t pay that much attention to me. They’re too busy worrying about themselves to worry about me.

B—If I do make a mistake and look like an idiot I’m no worse off (I’m in the same place, as if I hadn’t tried, still alone with no date). In fact, I’m better off because now I know and can move on.

See what I mean? Irrational fears are the kind that are holding you back, but you don’t want them to! When I come across some of them, I will normally head right towards the fear.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Susan Jeffers

Then there is Rational Fear. This is when your intuition is speaking up (and loudly!). The chances of something going wrong are high, and you’re possibly in a dangerous predicament (physically, spiritually or emotionally), and the consequences of this decision could be ugly.

Examples include walking along down a dark street in a dangerous part of down, getting in a car with a drunk driver, spending all of your savings on someone who is going to make you rich, or quitting your job to pursue your career as a trapeze artist! All joking aside, there is a difference between having faith in yourself and making bad decisions.

There’s a good chance that you will get hurt walking down a dark street in a scary part of town or driving drunk. Eventually it’s going to catch up with you.

Putting all of your faith in another person saving you is also a huge red flag. It’s setting you up for failure because you cannot depend on someone else making you happy.

And quitting your job is a good idea if you have something to fall back on. Don’t put yourself in jeopardy to prove anything. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, ever. As long as you’re okay with you, nothing else matters.

So when confronted with a situation that makes you stop and feel fear, ask yourself

“What am I feeling? DO I want to run towards this opportunity and the potential results will all my heart? Or do I want leave and get as far away as possible right now?”

I am famous for asking my friends and family for their opinions and advice and then not listening. My husband used to get annoyed. I don’t do it to be a pain in the butt, or to be disrespectful.

I do it because by finding out what other people think I should do, I clarify what I already know.

You already know what you need to do. You don’t need me, or James Ray or your mother to tell you what it is. I’m just here to support you while you do it.

So don’t believe everything I say, or take a lot of stock in my life experiences if they’re not a good fit for you. AND trust me, you’ll know.

Empower yourself. Let your Authentic Self be the last voice on every decision you make!

How can you tell the difference between your rational and irrational fear? I’d love to know. Comment and help me (and others) with your tips and techniques!