How happy people deal with fear
If everyone feels fear when approaching something totally new in life, yet so many out there are ‘doing it’ despite the fear, then we must conclude that fear is NOT the problem.
Susan Jeffers, ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway’
As my wise mentor, Louise Hay (love her!) says, ‘The real issue is not the fear, but how we hold the fear.‘ Meaning, the fear is in your head (unless you are in physical danger right at this moment).
Once you realized it’s in your head, you can choose how you deal with it: from a position of power, or from a place of helplessness.
- “I am a failure.” vs “I can do it.”
- “I can’t afford it.” vs “I deserve to be happy and I will do what it takes.”
- “Nothing ever works out.” vs “I am always going in the right direction.”
You can choose! You can choose! You can choose!
Take responsibility for your results. Learn how to identify your self sabotage and fearful thoughts AND learn strategies to manage them forever. How priceless is that? No more fear gettin’ in your way…
If you want to learn more, you still have a few days to register for the Master Your Mindset, Master Your Life group coaching program. I am so excited to bring this information and these strategies to those who are truly serious about living a happy, healthy, wealthy life NOW! Learn more at http://kimberlyenglot.com/mindsetcleanse.
3 Signs You’re in an abusive relationship
How you feel about yourself is *really* the only thing that matters, since wherever you go, there you are! Because of this, it’s vitally important to your mental health, your ability to be happy, and how successful you are that you take good care of yourself.
Stop the procrastination, playing small, blame. Stop the excuses, the ‘if only…then‘ or the ‘I’ll be happy when…‘ games.
Here are 3 Signs that YOU are in an abusive relationship — with YOU!
You are not your thoughts
By Kimberly Englot
Our brains think constantly. That’s what they’re supposed to do. Now, if you’re anything like me you’re not very good at meditating. It’s very difficult to train yourself to empty your mind of thoughts.
I have tried. It takes a lot of practice. Some are able to do it. Some aren’t. I don’t bother any more because I’ve found an alternative method that serves me just as well, if not better!
My way to quiet my mind and notice the negative thoughts is to simply be aware of what is going on. You see, you are not your mind and you are not your thoughts. You are the being that can recognize your thoughts. Before you go…”I don’t have any thoughts in my head that I’m not aware of” I want you to realize that you’re thinking that very statement. That is the voice I’m talking about. I call it the inner critic (I also refer to it as the ego-mind). Use your conscious mind (the part that lives in the moment) to recognize your negative thoughts, and simply let them be. You don’t have to buy into them.
I used to have a very damaging inner critic. It was constantly saying things like, “Why do you even bother speaking. No one cares about what you have to say.” Then I discovered that people do care about what I have to say and I started to speak up! This obviously turned into my passion and career as an Authentic Life coach. Because I was able to notice that my inner critic was thinking that, I gained back control and was able to NOT believe it.
You are not your thoughts. You can’t control your thoughts either. At least not for any realistic time frame. You will only drive yourself crazy trying to control them. I like to believe that our brains are tuned into a higher frequency of the universe and thoughts pop in and out, and we have no way of knowing where they came from…much less be able to control them! I know I have some pretty crazy thoughts that come from out of no where! And many of my best ideas come to me when I least expect it. Actually as I am writing this blog entry I have no idea where the words are coming from. They are just popping into my head as fast as I am able to capture them by typing….I wouldn’t want to control that for the world.
Be conscious of your thoughts, but don’t try to silence them or control them. You are not your thoughts so you don’t have to be afraid of them anymore. Set yourself free!
Do you have life clutter?
By Kimberly Englot
With spring around the corner, and spring cleaning on my mind, I have been thinking about the clutter I have building up in my basement. It is physical clutter, textbooks from university, recycling I haven\’t taken in yet, and old clothes that need to be donated to charity. The physical clutter affects my mental space, too. It is there, always in the back of my mind, and I must admit, I am procrastinating clearing it out.
What kind of clutter are you allowing in your life? Take some time to reassess what you have that you\’re putting off or allowing to take up extra space.
Physical Clutter:
- Are you saving old newspapers or magazines that you won\’t read, just incase you think you will want to read them again…some day?
- Is your closet bursting with things you don\’t like or wear? Do you have items that don\’t fit properly or are stained or ripped?
- When was the last time you cleaned out your pantry, fridge or freezer?
- Can you park the car in the garage…or is it time for a garage sale?
Mental Clutter:
- Are you finances a mess? Do you open your bills when they come in the mail, or do you just toss them away without looking at them?
- What does your home office or desk look like? Are you able to think with miscellaneous loose paper scattered everywhere?
- Are you holding resentments towards certain people? Or are you trying to do everything and feel like you can\’t accomplish anything?
These are just a few of the things you should think about when you assess your life clutter! Take a deeper look. What do you have in your life that you don\’t absolutely love, need, or want? Anything that doesn\’t fit into those categories should be cleared away. Think about all categories. (It might help for you to get a copy of the Authentic Life Checklist, you can get a copy by signing up for my newsletter at www.kimberlyenglot.com).
Clutter comes down to not valuing yourself, your life and your personal space. If you felt like you deserved a clean, organized closet (and this was important to you) you\’d have one. You likely spend your life running around for others and have forgotten to put yourself back on your priorities list. So, put yourself back on it! Figure out what you want for your life, and then get rid of what won\’t help you get there! This helps you clean out both mental and physical clutter. You\’ll have more energy and feel great. I promise.
Worry & Guilt, what actions are you taking to get rid of them?
By: Kimberly Englot
Worry & Guilt are two negative thoughts that everyone deals with. It is important to recognize that they are toxic thoughts and causing you to miss your life. Let me explain.
Your body is always in the present moment. It has no choice. Your mind, on the otherhand, can travel back in time and into the future. When your mind is not in the current moment, you are missing out on life because life only happens NOW. When you worry, your mind is in the future. You’re thinking about “what if” and dreaming up stories that may or may not come true. Think about it, though. If your body is here now, but you’re worrying about something that might happen in an hour, or next week, or 20 years down the road can your body actually do anything about it? No it can’t. Assuming that you have done everything you possibly can to prevent things from occurring you have to let go of your false sense of control for everything else. You can only control you and your responses to events. The idea that you can control external circumstances (especially by worrying) is a false sense of security that you need to quash immediately because it is keeping you from living right now.
Guilt is the exact same issue, only occurs when your mind travels to the past. You feel guilty about the fight you had with your husband, best friend, mom, whomever. You feel guilty for having to work and dropping your baby off at daycare. You feel guilty about not working and staying home to raise the kids. You feel guilty for saying no to volunterring on some project you didn’t really want to do, or you feel guilty for wanting more time for yourself! Guilt is everywhere. Again, it is something that you are putting on yourself. Don’t let your inner critic tell you that you should be feeling guilty for some reason or another. Feeling guilty doesn’t change the circumstances. They’ve already occurred. All you can do it grab the present moment and get the most out of it1
Life is lived NOW. Don’t look up in 20 years and wonder where life went.
Here are a few tips:
3. Is it this thought rational?
4. Is it something I can fix or prevent?
5. If you have already done everything you can, it is out of your hands. There is not point in letting guilt and worry steal your life from you.
6. If all else fails remember this one thought:
“No one put you in charge of the world.”
