Discover Your Authentic Life 2
This is the second blog for the Discover Your Authentic Life weekly video blogs. The first 5 weeks can be viewed here.
Discover Your Authentic Life Tip #8
How is your relationship with money?
Discover Your Authentic Life Tip #7
Who do you choose to surround yourself with? Are you able to be yourself?
Discover Your Authentic Life Tip #6
Your Outside space reflects your inside state: How Feng Shui increased my success!
You may have to wait a few moments for it to start to play. If you need to, pause the video and all it to buffer for a few moments.
Authentic Life and Happiness Tip#1
I think I need to preface this blog post by saying that I don’t just make this stuff up (well some of it comes from my authentic self, but that’s another blog). I actually test out everything I talk about in my programs, books, exercises and blogs. I’m not just out here playing pretend. With that said…
I was working through an action guide (part of Bob Doyle’s Boundless Living Challenge) because I wanted to check it out and see if it would be useful to my clients, and anyone who reads my blogs. Its a brilliant action guide full of great idea, information and very helpful questions.
Anyway, I was filling it out, thinking about my own life the past year and all of the ups/downs/surprises that have come with it. One of the exercises I found particulary helpful was writing a letter. Basically I was required to write a letter to myself, telling me all about my success throughout the year. Not necessarily bragging (although there is nothing wrong with a confidence or self-esteem booster exercise) but definitely stating the things I should be proud of. I was also supposed to give myself permission to let things go. To stop holding on to mistakes, or things that I should have done but didn’t get to. Once completed, it left me with a page long letter to myself. It was the perfect exercise to get me back in the moment, but also to congratulate myself on my success and let go of any unresolved punishment.
I encourage you to do the same. We get into a habit of focusing so much on what we’ve done wrong. Take time to acknowledge what you’ve done (and are doing right!). You’ll feel great after, it will shift your focus and your energy and you have something to look back on when you need a bit of happiness in your day.
Try it.
Get Your Priorities Straight–No More Settling for Good Enough!
By Kimberly Englot
Enough of settling for “good enough” when it comes to your priorities…or do you even know what your priorities are anymore? Is it time for you to reassess your life, dreams, passions and goals? I know that life gets busy. Spouses, kids, jobs, pets, and homes all require attention, but what about you? You’re not a lot of help to anyone if you’re resentful, tired and only living via obligations to other people!
Get out some paper and take some me time to figure out what your priorities are. This might take some time upfront, but it will save you energy and aggravation later because you won’t be worrying about things that don’t matter! And you’ll know what you need to focus on to live your extraordinary life!
Think about all life areas when you’re deciding your priorities. Contemplate recreation, career, money, relationships, home life, and personal growth. What area’s are lacking? Is having fun a huge priority for you, but you find that you never bother to make the time to scrapbook, or meet the ladies in your book club, or show up for the volleyball games? You need to stop settling for “good enough” when it comes to your priorities in life. This takes courage and probably some hard decisions, but it will be worth it when you notice you’re happier and enjoying your life for a change.
The “good enough” aspect of life is a double edged sword. You also need to have your priorities straight so that you can know what to let go. If being on the ABC Board doesn’t really matter to you, why are you wasting your time doing it (and don’t use the whole “obligations” argument). If you don’t care about have a perfectly tidy house, don’t use up precious energy nagging the kids to clean their rooms or picking up your husband’s socks.
You free up all kinds of energy for other things when you get your priorites straight! It’s time to reassess and start looking at what really matters to you. Clear away anything that doesn’t make you shriek “Hell Yes! I need that in my life!” I’m not talking about the small things like laundry, or dishes, or walking the dog. Those are matters that have to be done, if only to avoid chaos. However, if those things are not a top priority, then you can set yourself free from being so sticky about them! Yes, laundry must be done. However, don’t forgo your workout for laundry.
Living a great life is all about priorities! Go to http://www.kimberlyenglot.com and subscribe to my weekly Authentic Self Newsletter to grab a copy of my Authentic Life Checklist, which is a great tool to help you assess your life.
You are not your thoughts
By Kimberly Englot
Our brains think constantly. That’s what they’re supposed to do. Now, if you’re anything like me you’re not very good at meditating. It’s very difficult to train yourself to empty your mind of thoughts.
I have tried. It takes a lot of practice. Some are able to do it. Some aren’t. I don’t bother any more because I’ve found an alternative method that serves me just as well, if not better!
My way to quiet my mind and notice the negative thoughts is to simply be aware of what is going on. You see, you are not your mind and you are not your thoughts. You are the being that can recognize your thoughts. Before you go…”I don’t have any thoughts in my head that I’m not aware of” I want you to realize that you’re thinking that very statement. That is the voice I’m talking about. I call it the inner critic (I also refer to it as the ego-mind). Use your conscious mind (the part that lives in the moment) to recognize your negative thoughts, and simply let them be. You don’t have to buy into them.
I used to have a very damaging inner critic. It was constantly saying things like, “Why do you even bother speaking. No one cares about what you have to say.” Then I discovered that people do care about what I have to say and I started to speak up! This obviously turned into my passion and career as an Authentic Life coach. Because I was able to notice that my inner critic was thinking that, I gained back control and was able to NOT believe it.
You are not your thoughts. You can’t control your thoughts either. At least not for any realistic time frame. You will only drive yourself crazy trying to control them. I like to believe that our brains are tuned into a higher frequency of the universe and thoughts pop in and out, and we have no way of knowing where they came from…much less be able to control them! I know I have some pretty crazy thoughts that come from out of no where! And many of my best ideas come to me when I least expect it. Actually as I am writing this blog entry I have no idea where the words are coming from. They are just popping into my head as fast as I am able to capture them by typing….I wouldn’t want to control that for the world.
Be conscious of your thoughts, but don’t try to silence them or control them. You are not your thoughts so you don’t have to be afraid of them anymore. Set yourself free!
Get Out Self Doubt!
By Kimberly Englot
Everyone suffers from self doubt. Everyone. Even the most successful person in the world occassionally has self doubt, it’s part of being human and having a functioning brain!
I have a feeling that self doubt starts off as a good thing…it keeps you safe as a child. Your mother may have constantly been warning you to be wary of strangers and to always look before you cross the street. As you got older, the need for those safety precautions disappeared, but they stayed with you!
You are constantly watching and limiting your behaviour. Don’t say that you might look foolish! Don’t wear that, it makes you look fat! Don’t read that you’re not smart enough! Don’t…Don’t…Don’t!
All of these don’t are your brain’s way of keeping you safe, and they work in a not-good way! Sometimes safe isn’t good! There are certain ways in which safe keeps you small and stagnant. You cannot grow and learn if you’re always safe.
I guarantee that if you talk to anyone you consider to be successful they will tell you that they take risks! They might be calculated risks, but they’re still risks! (And there lies the key to success, the calculated risk….but that’s another blog post…) .
I do something that scares me at least a couple of times per week. Not in the range of jumping out of an airplane or mountain climbing, but something that definately stretches my comfort zone! The whole time leading up to the actual “scary event” I’m aware of my limiting beliefs. And I know they’re there…I hear the self doubt chattering, but I don’t get involved in it. I don’t let it become the truth! With each scary thing that you conquer you will see your self esteem grow!
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” Susan Jeffers
