You’re Always Happy — And I’m Jealous
I had a profound experience Saturday.
You see, after an up and down week I had a coaching session with my own coach. As usual, she turned everything around and helped me see the true light, instead of the tiny bit of darkness I had been focusing on. By noon, I had accomplished more than in the 5 days leading up to that point, and I felt great! (Amazing how one person can do that for you).
So I was humming and dancing around the house and my cat, Maxx and husband were both thinking I’d finally lost my grip on reality.
After supper, I sat down on the couch and DH was sitting in his chair. I had a margarita in my hand (what better way to end a fabulous day) and I looked at him and said, “I had such a great day today. I feel so darn good. I’m so happy.”
(And remembering this moment is actually bringing tears to my eyes…)
And he looked and me and said, “Kim, you’re ALWAYS happy. I am jealous. I want to feel that way too.”
I sat on the couch blown away.
You might not think this is a big deal, but I have to tell you a similar story…then it will all make sense.
About 3 years ago, I was standing at my kitchen counter looking at piece of paper from our previous apartment landlord. It was telling us that we wouldn’t be getting our full deposit back because of some damages done to the apartment (that were there previously). I’m not going to get into it, but I was furious.
Livid might be a better word. I was standing and shaking and probably turning red. At this point in my life, I hated everything and almost everyone. I was unhappy, and there was nothing I could do about it (so I thought).
So I showed the letter to my husband who simply shrugged. This irked me. And I said something like, “Frick, I hate this company. What a stupid company. This wasn’t even our fault…now what are we going to do?”
And he just looked at me and said, “Kim, you hate everything.” And that was it. This simple sentence hit me like a ton of bricks and ripped my heart open.
And that was the exact moment that I decided to change my life. So 3 Years later…as I sat in the very same house, with the same furniture, the same husband, the same cat (and probably wearing the same pair of sweatpants) and I felt overwhelmed with gratitude at how much taking some responsibility for myself and my results, and making the effort to just be happy changed me.
From “You hate everything…” to “you’re always happy” in less than 3 years. That’s pretty good, I’d say 
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Now if you are interested in how I did it (it was much easier than you might think), I invite you to join me (and Gina Bell) for the Fall 2010 Session of The Master Life Cleanse.
We are taking participants from “I hate everything” to “I’m so happy in 6 weeks!”
Join us or learn more at http://themasterlifecleanse.com
The How of Happiness: 10 Actions to Get You Started
If you studied the happiest people in the world, you would find commonalities among all of them. They view difficult circumstances differently than others. They worry less, feel guilty less and trust more. Happiness is learned, but like a muscle, you need to work it out. Here are 10 actions that you can take today, to start exercising your happiness muscles.
1.Let go of obligations
Sometimes you continue to do things just because you’ve always done them. This doesn’t mean that you have to continue to do them. What are you holding onto that you really resent? Let it go.
2. Say No
Say no when you mean no. Often you get into a habit of saying yes, because you always say yes, and then you later regret it. Set the intention to be aware of the things you’re agreeing too, and make sure that they align with what you want in life. If you absolutely must say yes to something you’re not thrilled about, change your perspective on it.
3.Change your mind
Sometimes circumstances change, impressions change, and people change. This is okay. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago, why do you have to stick with the same decisions? If you wish to switch directions in your life, give yourself permission to change your mind.
4. Question others
You are not a bad person for not agreeing with everyone, some people might just “set off” your intuition. Listen to that gut feeling. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t try to force it.
5. Have your own opinion
That intuition is very important! Like in the above action, having your opinion is very important, it is what sets you apart from everyone else. You can agree with others, or disagree with them, as long as you have a very clear reason as to WHY you agree or disagree.
6. Make mistakes
Learning is growing, and you can’t learn if you’re perfect. Change your perspective on failure. Failure is not a bad thing, it gives you the opportunity to relax, try new things out, test yourself a bit. If you are perfect, you are not living up to your true potential. The more successful you are, the more mistakes you make.
7. Let “it” go
Just release whatever you’re holding on to. Whether a grudge, a relationships, a job or a dream, if it’s causing you pain or holding you back in life, you need to release it. There are many different methods to doing this, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), the Sedona Method and The Work are three well-known methods.
8. Love Yourself
This might be the hardest of all these actions, but it is also the most important. When you love yourself, all the other happiness actions follow. Look in the mirror daily and actually see the person looking back at you. Don’t judge her, just let her know you love and accept her. You are doing the best you can, at any given moment.
9. Seek a new story
Reassess that story you’ve been telling yourself. Is it true? Are you really a victim, simply not control of your situation at all? Can you really not do anything to change, because of something that happened in your past? Is bad luck the main factor in why you’re unhappy right now? Really? Change that story. Feature an empowered, happy and successful person who doesn’t let the past dictate the future.
10. Jump into the fear
This is difficult, there are times where you must calculate risks and there are times where you just have to jump right in without thinking too much. Your intuition will be key in this. I know that in my own life, any time I’ve been really excited about something, it’s come with fear. Are there opportunities in life that have you excited? Do you see greater potential for yourself, but let fear stop you? Don’t let that fear hold you back, find a way around it.
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Those are just 10 steps to get you started. Being happy doesn’t mean you are never afraid, or angry, or frustrated. It means you have a resilience and a trust that others don’t, and that is something you can learn. This can be overwhelming and hard to deal with alone. If you are currently dreaming of changing careers, find love, or making a big change in your life, you’ll want to join me for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover, where I’m covering in detail exactly what to look out for AND how to become a happy person. It’s FREE and you can sign up at http://kimberlyenglot.com/hhteleseminar. About the Author: Kimberly Englot teaches success-driven women how to create the life vision they crave, have the courage to pursue it and live it from a purely authentic place so they can enjoy all the happiness, freedom and success they deserve. Kimberly is the founder of the Center of Authentic Self Development. Learn more about her programs and gain access to FREE coaching, inspiration & advice at: http://www.kimberlyenglot.com. |
