How to Identify a Toxic Relationship:Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- “I love her, but I dread spending time with her…”
- “But, we’ve been friends FOREVER…”
- “I never feel like she truly listens to me, but she never fails to call me at 3am after another bad break up.”
- “He only calls me when he needs money.”
- “I dread meetings with him. He manages to make me feel so inadequate…”
Read more
Sometimes People Suck
Confessions of a Happy Person…
I’m EXTRA spunky today (my husband says it’s because of the full moon?) and so I’m going to funnel it into something that I think you’ll be relieved to find out — You’re Not Alone.
Sometimes people suck.
And by “people,” I’m generalizing. Sometimes I suck, I’m sure you’re not perfect either 
There, I said it. You know it — so quit judging me and pretending you have no idea what I mean.
I work with a lot of people, thousands over the last 10 years and I’ve learned a few things. Hopefully my experience will make yours much less painful, and you can apply my experience to life and business.
You can stop feeling like you’re alone in this irritation, and stop ignoring it (because ignoring this fact won’t make you feel better and won’t change a thing. You can’t change reality by ignoring it or fighting it.)
Here I go…
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People will disappoint you.
Even ones you love will break promises, not follow-through or outright lie to you about their intentions. Sometimes this is intentional, mostly it’s not.
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Not everyone will agree with you.
Some will say you’re wrong or you don’t know what you’re talking about. Some will give you a look, and others will point at you and laugh
This doesn’t feel good, but it happens and there is nothing you can do. Trying to please everyone will leave you burnt out, unhappy and you’ll still have people who think you’re “doing it wrong.” -
Not everyone will like you.
Just like #2, about 50% of the people will like you and about 50% will not. Trying to make everyone like you in not authentic and by doing so you’re also leaving your integrity on the floor to be stomped all over. It is hard going against the crowd, but staying true to who you are and standing up for your own values will leave you happier than having a lot of “friends” who don’t even like the real you.
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Everyone has a shadow.
It shows up as fear, jealousy and sabotage. There are some people who are so unhappy, uncomfortable and un-confident that they will do what they can to bring you down. Don’t be surprised if these people end up being the ones you thought you could depend on. Sad, but true. Those closest to you might get a little bit jealous when you start losing weight, making more money or playing a bigger game. They’ll get passive-aggressive, or outright snarky, and they’ll do what they can’t to make you feel bad. Jealousy can get ugly.
While you might have a perfect life where none of this exists (if that’s the case, why are you reading this?) 99% do not. I have been fairly lucky, with my attraction marketing plan (in business and in life) and through doing a Life Cleanse on myself twice a year since 2009, I have eliminated a lot of this. But I do get the odd troll who just wants to bring me down, and often its the trolls I thought I could depend on that sting the most.
So what can you do?
- Recognize them for what they are: Human. People have bad days, and some are just mean spirited. If they’re an snarky email comment, or a nasty Facebook Friend or Twitter follower, delete and block. If it’s someone in your life, you’ll have to make bigger changes to yourself (or your relationship).
- Acknowledge that “it is what it is.” The reality of your situation is that it is what it is, because it is what you’re currently experiencing. And fighting it or disagreeing with it won’t make it go away, or make you feel better. In fact, you’ll usually feel worse.
- Turn to your true “tribe” for proper support (you know the ones that you know for sure, are their for you). My true tribe is really small…a tribe of about 5, depending on the issue, but I have a tribe of several thousand through Twitter and Facebook who I can count on most of the time to “get” me. Not always, but like I said, my attraction marketing works and I have some FAB people in my social media circle!
That’s it for this true-life confession. Don’t feel bad, you’re not alone, sometimes people really do suck!
©2010 Kimberly Englot
Want to use this in your eZine or on your blog? Sure as long as you don’t change anything and include the following:
Grab your FREE Copy of “Dump The Junk, and Be Happy” eBook at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Kimberly Englot is CEO of The Center for Authentic Self Development and author of “The Now of Happiness: Your Official Happiness Formula” (2011).
“Selfish” Defined
I’ve had one of those days…you know the days where you’ve just had enough!
The last month has been very clear for me. I defined exactly what I wanted my life and business to look like and now I’m going through a bit of “chemicalization” to clear away the junk: toxic people, rancid relationships, nasty limiting beliefs. I’m doing the same for a few clients, too.
It’s actually a prime time for all this to happen because I’m about to teach the Master LIFE Cleanse one last time this year, starting in 2 days.
I won’t get into the ugly details, but suffice it to say that I feel the need to define what SELFISH actually means because there are a lot of people out there who will do what they can to make you feel bad when you try to take care of your own wellbeing first!
There are many people who will call you “selfish” or “cowardly” when you have the audacity to please yourself rather than them. Often others will call you “selfish” (because you are unwilling to yield to their own selfishness) without realizing the hypocrisy of their demand.
When other’s call you “selfish” or “cowardly,” their own vibrations are clearly out of balance, and a modification of your behaviour will not bring them into balance.
Abraham-Hicks, Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health & Happiness
So if you have someone in your life telling you that you’re the selfish one, take a closer look at their motives to pushing you into something, they’re probably self-serving.
(Oh, and think of the bad karma they’re building up by bullying you into serving them.)
What is the Master LIFE Cleanse?
Understandably, people are confusing my Master LIFE Cleanse program, with the “master cleanse” (a lemonade diet) and “life cleanse” (some weight loss pills)…the Master LIFE Cleanse has nothing to do with colons, is not a diet nor a weight loss solution…unless you are looking to shed excess negative thoughts, toxic relationships and limiting beliefs!
I explain exactly what the Master LIFE Cleanse is in the video below, as well as give you more information to help you continue to cleanse your life from emotional junk so you can discover your authentic self.
Know what you want, but aren’t a video-watcher?
I invite you to join me (and Gina Bell) for the Fall 2010 Session of The Master Life Cleanse.
We are taking participants from “I hate everything” to “I’m so happy in 6 weeks!”
Join us or learn more at http://themasterlifecleanse.com
It’s not about you
Posted by Kimberly Englot on August 24, 2011 · Leave a Comment
Quick reminder:
Angry unsubscriber picking on grammar, spelling or how often you email your list?
Ex who says stuff like, “Hey, I love that dress. It reminds me off my Grandma” ?
It’s NOT about you, don’t take it personally.
Even if they are brave enough to facilitate a direct attack on you, it’s not really about you.
It’s a Junk story they’ve created in their own heads.
That’s about them…you’re fabulous, just as you are.
Filed under Automatic Negative Thoughts, EMT: Emergency Mindset Transformation, Happiness, Positive Thinking, Raising Self Esteem, Relationships, The Authentic Self, Toxic People · Tagged with happy people, passive aggressive comments, the authentic self, The Center for Authentic Self Development, Toxic People