Comments on: You’re Always Happy — And I’m Jealous http://kimberlyenglot.com/youre-always-happy-and-im-jealous/ the authentic self | authentic in business | women in business online | break free of self sabotage | success in business online | increasing confidence | discovering your authentic self | resilience Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:58:08 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kimberly Englot http://kimberlyenglot.com/youre-always-happy-and-im-jealous/comment-page-1/#comment-325 Kimberly Englot Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:17:10 +0000 http://kimberlyenglot.com/?p=2263#comment-325 I think that sometimes people misunderstand what happiness is. You can be happy, and still have things going wrong in life. Being happy doesn't mean constantly being elated and walking around with a crazy smile on your face. It means know that no matter what, in the end you're going to be fine, and having faith in a higher power, AND appreciating what is going right. Death, tragedy, extreme loss...millions of people experience this daily. Optimism and resilience definitely play a role, but in the end it's a choice: You can lay down and give up or keep going. You usually have to keep going anyway, so why not do what you can to enjoy it? So guess, like you touched on in your comment, Patricia...is it a personality trait or learned or ingrained in our genes? The great thing is that research is demonstrating that you can change all of those, if you choose. I believe it was Bruce Lipton who demonstrated that DNA is not static, and Marci Shimoff in her book Happy For No Reason talks about how happiness is genetic to a certain point, and that you can do something about it. She also points out (among many other researchers, including Sonja Lyubomirsky "The HOW of Happiness") that you are as happy as the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So when it comes down to it, you can question resilience or optimism and say that some people just have it and others don't, but I believe that you always have the choice. It's those who are willing to make the choice that find happiness, in every (and any) circumstance. I think that sometimes people misunderstand what happiness is. You can be happy, and still have things going wrong in life. Being happy doesn’t mean constantly being elated and walking around with a crazy smile on your face. It means know that no matter what, in the end you’re going to be fine, and having faith in a higher power, AND appreciating what is going right. Death, tragedy, extreme loss…millions of people experience this daily.
Optimism and resilience definitely play a role, but in the end it’s a choice: You can lay down and give up or keep going. You usually have to keep going anyway, so why not do what you can to enjoy it? So guess, like you touched on in your comment, Patricia…is it a personality trait or learned or ingrained in our genes?
The great thing is that research is demonstrating that you can change all of those, if you choose. I believe it was Bruce Lipton who demonstrated that DNA is not static, and Marci Shimoff in her book Happy For No Reason talks about how happiness is genetic to a certain point, and that you can do something about it. She also points out (among many other researchers, including Sonja Lyubomirsky “The HOW of Happiness”) that you are as happy as the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
So when it comes down to it, you can question resilience or optimism and say that some people just have it and others don’t, but I believe that you always have the choice. It’s those who are willing to make the choice that find happiness, in every (and any) circumstance.

]]> By: Patricia A. Muir http://kimberlyenglot.com/youre-always-happy-and-im-jealous/comment-page-1/#comment-323 Patricia A. Muir Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:50:07 +0000 http://kimberlyenglot.com/?p=2263#comment-323 "Being Happy" IS a decision. However, "Resilience" plays a key role in maintaining authentic happiness. There are times in everyone's life when the ability to be happy is challenged - especially when there is a series of loss or feelings of overwhelm brought on by life's challenges - like family illness and loss over a very short time. I question is resilience is a learned life-skill or are some people born with the gene. I have learned that consciously taking care of yourself emotionally is critical: setting emotional boundaries and finding strategies for replenishing emotional strength. A focus on enhancing your emotional intelligence helps to build resilience and maintain happiness. Then there's 'optimism'. That's another chapter in the story of happiness! “Being Happy” IS a decision. However, “Resilience” plays a key role in maintaining authentic happiness. There are times in everyone’s life when the ability to be happy is challenged – especially when there is a series of loss or feelings of overwhelm brought on by life’s challenges – like family illness and loss over a very short time. I question is resilience is a learned life-skill or are some people born with the gene. I have learned that consciously taking care of yourself emotionally is critical: setting emotional boundaries and finding strategies for replenishing emotional strength. A focus on enhancing your emotional intelligence helps to build resilience and maintain happiness. Then there’s ‘optimism’. That’s another chapter in the story of happiness!

]]> By: Kimberly Englot http://kimberlyenglot.com/youre-always-happy-and-im-jealous/comment-page-1/#comment-322 Kimberly Englot Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:33:51 +0000 http://kimberlyenglot.com/?p=2263#comment-322 Thanks Gina! Something about that statement on Saturday brought everything back, and made me remember the EXACT moment and situation that made me sit up and take notice. I'm so glad I did. Life is way better now, even though not much has change in my physical environment. Thanks Gina!
Something about that statement on Saturday brought everything back, and made me remember the EXACT moment and situation that made me sit up and take notice. I’m so glad I did. Life is way better now, even though not much has change in my physical environment.

]]> By: Gina Bell http://kimberlyenglot.com/youre-always-happy-and-im-jealous/comment-page-1/#comment-321 Gina Bell Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:22:11 +0000 http://kimberlyenglot.com/?p=2263#comment-321 Kim, I think this is the best post you've ever written. Thank you for sharing this story. I KNOW there are others out there who feel the way you did 3 years ago... where everything feels hard, a small breeze from the wrong direction can set off their anger, they are frustrated about almost every area of their life - career, relationships, self. I can't wait for the WOW of Happiness call to give others hope that it doesn't have to be this way (and of course share specific ways they can begin to change their life experiences immediately). ~ Gina xo Kim, I think this is the best post you’ve ever written. Thank you for sharing this story.

I KNOW there are others out there who feel the way you did 3 years ago… where everything feels hard, a small breeze from the wrong direction can set off their anger, they are frustrated about almost every area of their life – career, relationships, self.

I can’t wait for the WOW of Happiness call to give others hope that it doesn’t have to be this way (and of course share specific ways they can begin to change their life experiences immediately).

~ Gina xo

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